ZUKI VISITS THE GRIZWALDS…….grizwald entourage tars and feathers zuki

pub crawlGood Morning Parapraxic Demagoguery,

It’s good to get out of the cold gripping Clear Water Beach and back to the warmth of our own Denver, Colorado! The weather was a bit of a surprise as it waffled between 54° and 64° with a wind out of the north keeping the local’s in their down jackets and long underwear. That said, the Grizwald’s generous hospitality and warmth always makes my trip to “Crazy” a cherished memory for this tired old man.

Undaunted and oblivious to the swirling weather outside the door ‘Sparky’ Grizwald and his genius son ‘Rusty’ managed to create three golf bags from pirating a half-bag of clubs and distributed them evenly so each bag had two or three clubs. Essentially all three of us were playing from 9 clubs of various makes, models, and level of repair. Given my highly crapulous condition I thought it absolutely hysterical each time one of us would fall out of the cart or watch an ill-attached bag fall scattering all three clubs!

After going through an 18 pack of Coors Light is was clear we needed help in getting home without having to be bailed out of jail. This is where the Grizwald ‘entourage’ comes in handy. With one phone call Rusty’s hot girlfriend arrived to carry the drunk’s home without incident. For that I was grateful.

For the two or three of you still reading this cry for help, let me explain about the entourage. They’ve literally taken over the Grizwald’s home; seemingly without impunity or any sense of guilt for not cleaning a mess they’ve created.  Stray dogs and cats, homeless people, and the occasional “Undocumented” person have benefited from the Grizwald largess. To be perfectly honest about this phenomenon I have also been the beneficiary of the Grizwald’s benevolence.  I suppose the difference is that I made it a point to pick up after myself and chip in with the domestic chores.

18 to 21 years I would guess to be the average age of the Grizwald “Posse” largely made up from high school football players and girlfriends associated with Lester the Grizwald’s youngest son as well as a Florida state ranked Quarterback. I haven’t quite analyzed the association but suspect this bizarre relationship is from two equally strong emotions: First, it’s clear to me the hangers on must deal with family members that insist on maintaining‘ House Rules’ keeping things orderly with decorum as the prevailing mode of operation. Secondly, Lester Grizwald is the youngest of three brothers and he obviously has issues with his older brothers and seeks the approval of his football teammates that worship him and throw rose pedals in his path. Lester! Wake up and smell the stale pizza….!

Perhaps it’s more important to welcome the wayward sons of financiers or other parents who have bigger fish to fry…. so they keep their kids in designer jeans and an allowance as a token of their love.  The Grizwald’s are at the very least…. the real deal as ALL are welcome and encouraged to stay!

For my part I felt I was  a good guest but on Friday night I upon being woken around 3:00 am lost it! I don’t do well with sleep deprivation so in my own gentle manner I inquired as to whether or not the offending party had a home to go to and couldn’t they see their way to spending one night in their own bed….? The boys could tell I was tired and toned it down thank God and managed a few hours of sleep. I’m sorry for that….but just sayin…

On Saturday a pub crawl was planned that ended at Shepherds and remember it right up to arriving at Shepherds. I had started at 9:00 am with a triple Vodka-Tonic followed by a triple Greyhound so by the time our group arrived it was questionable as to whether or not I’d remain upright. Got to Shepherd’s dance floor and found an Asian woman willing to dance and for a brief while I was a ‘dancing fool’……until I danced off the stage and once again got separated from our group. The crowd was pretty skinny given the cold air so thankfully I was found urinating on the “Shepherd’s” sign and led away with a promise of my own 72 virgins.

It was explained to me that after telling jokes to strangers…..I passed out in the smaller indoor bar booth and ruined it for our group. Instead of the world famous “Jolley Trolley” that led us to party central we had to end the evening with a Uber ride.  Sad….I hope they’ll accept my apology!