COMMON SENSE COMES TO MAGGOTS……zuki seeks an encore (2015)

Good Morning Seekers of Babelism,

Albert Camus once said, “Those who lack the courage will always find a philosophy to justify it.”

While I try to be objective in my observations separating emotional attachment by use of systematic methodology for analysis that tends to keep me on high ground.  But Mr. Camus’s above quote was never as true as it was last night at The Maggot.

Typically the patronage includes the same ‘Bozo’s’ that got off the bus yesterday.  However, once every now and then we’re treated to the behavior of strangers that’s bizarre enough to be considered refreshing.  Particularly when compared to the same banally uninspired repackaging of the same old tomfoolery.

As I walked into Maggot’s I was struck, no slapped in the face to see my seats were occupied by an oddly matched couple.  Hearsay taking center stage it came to light; this mentally challenged pair was a married couple returning to the place they first met. Irony aside, jeez it’s just my luck!  So I proceeded to take a different seat automatically irritated.  It didn’t take long for the couple to reveal themselves as complete lunatics!

The male portion of this “Confederation of Dunces” is a “ginger” with red hair and freckles with a deep bellowing voice turned up five “Nacho’s” to loud.  He was small in stature but not as diminutive as our own Murph the Hairdresser but was totally eclipsed by a short obese woman that had to tuck in her folds of fat under her.  I’m guessing she weighs in the neighborhood of 300 lbs.  She was rude and foul-mouthed and immediately hated the woman wishing her physical harm.

Surprisingly and loud enough for all of us to hear she went after ‘Magical John’ a Vietnam veteran with a long flowing white beard and hair I consider a fire hazard, but that’s another discussion.  John attends counseling at the VA hospital and if allowed to drink too much will get loud and a bit strange just before he collapses on the floor, but is no threat to anyone and always espouses peace and harmony.

The circus sideshow refugee began to accuse Magical John of laughing at her…..  Good God we were all chortling and out loud when she repeated her husband’s claim that John Elway was being fired.  I’m not sure as to why she picked the ‘magical’ one to go after because every time the couple spoke it was to laugh given the skewed absurdity of what was uttered.  I suspect John didn’t look or act very imposing and felt no threat from him.

John had about enough and cut his visit much shorter than normal, but by all accounts, it should have been the “Odd Couple” to leave.  About this time our very own JOE sauntered in and stood in his normal spot a few short feet away from the pugnacious woman wearing coke bottle spectacles with the IQ of a turd.

Joe had not been privy to the goofy interchanges prior to his entrance.  His typical stoic posture while ignoring them completely must have conjured up fear or suspicion about who he was.  Bubbles kept asking our boy “Are you the owner?”  Joe continued to ignore the pocked faced woman.  “You’re the owner aren’t you” she insisted, so our fellow “Rules Committee” member said in a reasonable tone that he was not.  “Liar!” she lashed back now joined by the ‘Ginger’ at her side.  In spite of our dear bartender Maria’s insistence otherwise, they both kept up with their accusation like they’d uncovered a secret.

I was waiting for JOE to tear them a new one….waiting…waiting…waiting but instead of shredding the nitwits he did something I never thought I’d see.  It was genius in its simplicity!   While the two idiots continued with their inane pointless allegation Joe slowly rolled up his beloved ‘Westward’ into a tight tube.  Then he turned to the Ripley’s candidates and in turn smacked each moron on the nose!  With gusto mind you!!!

Stunned and embarrassed the slime-balls left in a huff promising to never set foot in Maggot’s again!

Now that was funny!