Good Morning Bedizens, (2009)

I’ve been sleepwalking through this tedious process of finding the next Ms. zuki and have come to the conclusion she probably doesn’t exist.

Oh sure, it’s easy to lampoon a sensitive person like me as we tend to wear our hearts on the ole sleeve, but that’s not today’s subject.

Obviously, I can’t be witness to every single act of idiocy; that’s God’s job as well as many other omnipresent responsibilities. But it seems to me and the two or three of you still reading this nocent drivel the level of idiocy and imbecilic behavior has risen. Certainly alcohol and/or other accouterments alter one’s judgment and objectivity, but to this observer, I say it’s getting out of hand!

In two hours perched on a bar stool at the ‘Maggot’ I witnessed the following:

– Brent displayed a rubber chicken protruding from his zipper.
– Bombshell missed her mouth emptying a ‘Bud’ down her shirt.
– Bagwan (Dan) began sniffing then blessed each booth.
– Murph brought his sainted mother in and got her drunk.
– Maria rammed 3 cars while trying to park!
– Just JOE choked out Clancy because he wore a fur-like coat.
– Grant caught his sweater on his chair called 911 for extraction.
– Cush slipped into something stylish and sat on the toilet for an hour.

Speaking generally though, the term idiot is applied in popular usage simply to those who suffer from a congenital mental deficiency, and the term imbecile to persons who have fallen later in life into a state of chronic dementia.

Avoiding the clinical definitions proffered by Phd’s everywhere, it’s certain that neither this nor any other distinction between the terms was observed and noted. Consequently, no attempt has been made to separate imbeciles from idiots. The term lunatic is also used with some ambiguity, and no doubt persons suffering from congenital idiocy, and many more suffering from dementia, were released into our respective worlds under this term. So while each has a separate definition they tend to be lumped into the same universal description.

No wonder we’re overrun! Sadly though, at least 60% of them are hanging out at The Maggot.