DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY!……zuki makes a deal with god

Good Morning Creatures of Harangue,

Well, as expected the weekend brought zero rest and a perfunctory list of to do’s that never happened. What makes it worse is the guilt I feel for procrastinating. You add the obligatory hangover and it becomes the perfect reason to take Monday off.  Hopefully, the two or three of you reading this bag of squirrels had a fabulous weekend.

Benjamin Franklin said Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. I’m a firm believer in this but I’ve expanded on it by bringing in Vodka, Whiskey, and craft beer. Staying ‘happy’ sits high on my to-do list so I’ve even added accoutrements suitable for the occasion–so I must be happier than a pig in excrement, right?

One only has to walk into The Maggot to witness such joy that one would think they made it to heaven. But finding your way in, you realize this joy is temporary; erased when you cut yourself on one of the many chairs with sharp metal edges and duct-tape. Like a vapor that sucks the life out of the room, you instantly realize you’re in hell instead!

What will it take to be happy?

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated” – Confucius. While true enough, but when I look back upon my life there were stretches when I truly felt happy and was content with “Life’s rich pageant.” Those of us with a few rotations under our belt know that things never stay the same as change is always in lockstep with fear. I’m quickly headed to certain changes and preparing for them but afraid the sand is running out much too fast.

The late great Tom Petty said, “Music is probably the only real magic I have encountered in my life. There’s not some trick involved with it. It’s pure and it’s real. It moves, it heals, it communicates and does all these incredible things.” I think music works that way for most of us, but for me, it mitigates the feeling of impending doom that comes with change.

I’m not a very religious man; however, from time to time I’ll get on my knees being humble as humanly possible to pray. Those who know me will attest to the fact I always look to build my brothers and sisters up and selflessly pray for their individual success. That said, this prayer went something like this:

Hello Lord, and oh how great and mighty thou art, and will avert my gaze; if what I heard in 30 years of church is accurate, you put us on this rock…but with very little to go on regarding any return trip. Lord, you’ve tempted me with sex, crazy women, cocaine and all manner of drugs, rock n’ roll, and let’s not forget the dreaded 4-hour erection. Why not money?

I want to believe miracles still happen, so if it’s not too much trouble and you think I’m worthy, can you see to it I win the powerball drawing this Wednesday. It’ll go a long way in re-establishing my faith, but more importantly, my future will be solidified and can move to Kona a VERY happy man.

I understand you normally don’t work that way, but I promise not to mention this arrangement to a soul. Honestly, you know you can trust me… Amen


  • marzuki49

    Whatever dude…..don’t take these postings too seriously jeez

  • James Cushman

    Begging the almighty for money is never going to work, but believing in him is a good start! Your a good man Mike, working hard and doing the best you can with what you have, three outstanding children and a handful of really good friends, that care for you very much. Who knows ,they my win the lotto and share the windfall. But you always have yourself, in my opinion your more than half the way there. Things are not as bad as what you think they are. Good things happen to good people and your good people.!!!!