Good Morning Eximious Ones,
We’ve all heard the horror stories of children remembering hateful things their parents did to them 30 years removed from childhood! I’m not a trained professional in these matters but will tell you I’m highly skeptical of these desperate morons drudging up memories that most likely weren’t there or at best greatly exaggerated. Imagine some poor schlep gets hit in the face by a child accusing them of molestation then getting a bill from the “Therapist” who convinced the child their repressed memories are real!
I never get used to the fact the Internet is worldwide and open to ALL kinds of people in every unimaginable environment. The following is a letter received last week on my private message feature. If you can read the following with an open mind you’ll see where I’m coming from:
I’ve been reading your stuff for over a year and think you must be smart. I have had several spinal problems neck and lumbar. I already had surgery on my cervical area. My sister recently told me that my dad used to knock me around and pull me by the hair and drag me around. I do not remember any of this! I also do not remember most of my childhood for that matter. Could this be suppressed do to the nature of the occurrences? I do not know if I want to remember. Would it be good to remember or just keep the memories suppressed? I have no trouble with being able to stand up to tough situations in every-day life, but if someone approaches me like at work with a personal question and if I have to tell my manager something personal I always cry. Why when I have to indulge in my personal self-do I start crying??? Help Thank YOU
Without knowing you and given you felt compelled to write me I suspect you’re someone that struggles in most of your relationships; no doubt on ALL levels. I’m not a licensed therapist but feel it doesn’t take much to become one so I suspect you could do worse given my fee.
I’ve heard the term ‘repressed memory’ as it pertains to a person dealing with undefined personal issues thirty-forty years removed. I take this to mean you have some nebulous botheration you feel is affecting your life and need someone or something to blame! Given both patient and doctor are unable to proffer a theory of any kind, the trauma is always linked to unspeakable acts supposedly committed by one or both parents!
Also, what does your spine and cervical problems have to do with this?
So far all you’ve got is your sister’s account of Dad dragging you around by the hair which you have no memory of; so perhaps you deserved it. You’re not even sure you want to know! This of course is ludicrous. Most certainly you want to know, but are you willing to trash your flesh and blood forever because of a Psychotherapist’s need to be paid or worse…..published?
The fact you can’t remember anything of your childhood is telling; but of what? While I haven’t delved out a solution for you, I want you to carefully consider how you go about resolving this bizarre situation before throwing Mom and Dad out of your life.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help, but I can’t be responsible for you driving into a wall. That said though, write back and let me know how it all worked out.