doll 3Good Morning Purveyors of Too-Too,

I’ve just made plans to attend “Pancakes & Booze” when they pass through Denver November 7th. On a cursory level, this event stands out when compared to typical gallery shows opening that tend to be stuffy affairs.

As a part-time wanna-be artist, a friend suggested I apply as they seem to accept everyone’s work! Trying not to take his remark personally, but honestly at $15 per entry it represents a refreshing change to the $35 – $60 non-refundable entry fee to simply toss your hat in the ring! At least I’m guaranteed a spot! If I manage to sell a piece the organizers take zero percentage! It’s a real win-win. Plus I hear the pancakes are pretty good, but my most challenging task will be to stay up beyond 9PM.

Never having attended before it seems to me a far better way to introduce art, performing or otherwise, to the unwashed! Way…way…way back in the day, during my ‘Masters’ program I taught “Art 101 for non-majors.” Evidently it filled 2 humanities credits. These non-artists students were fun and completely void of ego and pomposity regarding their own importance to the art world.

This is my only regret in re-entering the world of art as it’s’ very difficult for me to ignore their condescension and bombast leaving me to stifle the building urge to denigrate them. The students viewed my 35 mm slides with awe; many seeing Jasper Johns or Peter Voulkos for the very first time! I enjoyed this very much and get a sense, those attending the November event that includes music, naked bodies (covered by paint), booze and pancakes will also be exposed to many styles of art. I suspect some will become real patrons from their experience.

Art-speak mostly adopted by art critics (those who are unable to create but attach themselves to those that can) utilize language to spin an illusionary sometimes mystical aura around a piece to praise it or tear it down with or without the artist’s vision for it.

What is the real value of one person’s opinion? Yeah I feel the same.

I’ve long been a proponent of euthanizing all art critics. There’s no need to torture them per se’ but they all need to go! Not just art critics either, but commentators on movies, plays, literature, and all other self-described experts hell-bent on airing their collective opinions.

Given the consequences for killing even an art critic the above is unlikely to happen. So I’m going to share with you a simple formula for engaging artists and critics of all kinds. To begin, memorize the following list of words and their meanings in context:

  1. Juxtapose
  2. Foreground
  3. Contrast
  4. Atmosphere

Once you get comfortable with using the above words conversationally you can walk away from the encounter leaving an impression about your enlightenment. In other words you will have the last laugh, leaving the artist a bit stupefied not quite sure if he/she has just been had. You gotta love that!

So please mark your calendars for Nov. 7th (a Saturday) 8:00 PM and join we the unwashed in a public celebration of art! Not to mention the “Booze & Pancakes.”