BAGWAN SEE’S MORE THAN HE CAN EXPLAIN…….quips & quotes belies real concern

SNL weekend updateGood Morning Purveyors of Bafflegab,

Our very own Bagwan has approached this weeks further truth & light with a gentle touch.  This grand departure from his normally punishing pedantic style had we the unwashed perplexed.  His playful yet sarcastic observations were a welcome relief to some of ‘Curmudgeon Corner’s elite members, as he had several poignant options to choose from.  But instead he took a look at current events over the weekend and lampooned them.  Please join me in a sigh of relief and enjoy:


 

Weekend Update

One of the functions of the Diatribe is to try to keep the members of Curmudgeon Corner informed. Trying to keep them up to date would be impossible, but if we can just keep them in this millennium we are satisfied. Our best members are the ones who have the most opinions and the fewest facts. In any case my goal today is to try to provide some of the most recent information ripped from the headlines about politics, sports and entertainment.

I didn’t mention weather as a topic but it is worth noting that as I sit here on Mother’s Day Eve the forecast is for snow tonight in Littlewood. Colorado Springs received 8 inches of hail yesterday and they are expecting locust on the eastern plains. It makes you wonder what unseemly rituals Zuki has been performing in the privacy of his hovel.

Okay now back to our regularly scheduled broadcast: In sports Alex Rodriguez hit his 661st home run this week moving him one ahead of Willie Mays on the all-time list. I know what you are saying – who cares because of the steroids. Two of the biggest beneficiaries of steroid use are A-Rod and Barry Bonds. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence but they are also two of the biggest assholes in the game which makes them very hard to defend, but I will try. Some will say that there is no comparison of their homerun totals to those of Babe Ruth, Henry Aaron and Willy Mays, since the heroes of the past did not use steroids. True enough, but they also didn’t have to face pitchers who were using steroids.

Turning to the world of entertainment, we are once again unable to avoid the Kardashian/Jenner clan this week. No we are not going to pile on Bruce and in fact I think we should just resolve to leave the poor old gal alone. Today we are going to focus on one of Mama Jenner’s daughters, Kylie Jenner. This is not the regular frivolous news we usually get out of this crowd, this is serious stuff. So serious in fact that I am going to copy it directly from Page Six in the NY Post:

“Not that anyone is actually surprised by the news, but Kylie Jenner has finally admitted that she uses temporary lip fillers to plump her pout.”

I told you it was big news, especially around the Corner where this info will settle several bets with Rodger the Hairdresser being the big winner. In the meantime we want to send out a “Happy Mothers’ Day” to all the appropriate parties in the Jenner/Kardashian family.

Finding regular news and politics that will stir interest in the members is a little more difficult. Sure they get a little riled up if they see video of some riot somewhere and maybe even mumble a few racial epithets; but the fact is that most of them don’t even recognize Al Sharpton anymore now that he is skinny. There might be a little interest in the shooting yesterday of an FBI agent trying to serve a warrant in a local flophouse but only because Zuki lived in this dump for a while, during what we refer to as his “transition phase.”

All the members claim political awareness and expertise but I doubt if any heard they had a landmark election in Great Britain this past week. Forget Great Britain, I doubt any of them know we had an election in Denver last week. Now Hillary’s announcement that she is a candidate for President did draw some attention, but not for the reasons you may think. It’s not her politics but her wardrobe that caused the discussion when Dawn the Bartender pointed out that JJ appears to have the same taste in pants suits – our local fashionista Cush opines that it only makes sense since they are the same body type.

BAGWAN

  • zuki

    I look good in orange!

  • bagwan1

    Apart from the fact that Zuki seems unable or unwilling to deal with the Diatribe I would offer this as an example of what “yeah baby” can look like in an orange pantsuit.

  • zuki

    Well it’s good to see the Bagster up and around again. He doesn’t like anyone to know but up until this weekend he’s been dealing with an electric fan that would not BLOW. With a little coaxing, and a few threats to destroy the old heirloom our Holy Fucker finally got blown!