SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE…..hand’s up so please shoot me

police-brutality-325x288Good Morning Law Abiding Citizens,

One of my associates at work is an avid police groupie for lack of a better term, and actually has a police scanner that monitors local police bands.  I’m not sure what the fascination is, so I assume it’s to feel closer to his would be protectors.  I overheard him talking about using his scanner nightly which made me feel better about my life or lack thereof.  I asked him if I could borrow it for one evening to see what it’s all about.  He agreed, but insisted repeatedly I return it the next morning.  He’s obviously developed an odd relationship with the scanner offering me days of fun ‘forgetting’ to return it.  He showed me how to use it, and the various frequencies assigned to local police departments and seemed pretty straight forward.

Last night I set it up and immediately found the Littlewood Dispatch Center, with calls coming in and out continually so it’s all very exciting.  After 30 minutes I began to understand my associate’s addiction so I jotted down a few notes of the more bizarre or weird calls so I could share it with the two or three of you reading this ‘spruik’ otherwise you wouldn’t believe me!  My God, the truth is better than anything I could make up so here is the gist of the more important calls taken last evening between 8 and 9 PM enjoy:

8:04 – complaint call from female ‘Boat Park’ user about a naked man who had his genitals stuck inside an inflated beach ball jumping from behind bushes asking passing females if they wanted to “play ball”  Officers sent.  Man was arrested for “indecent exposure” but was taken to the ‘cotton box’ for observation.

8:15 – call received from Tipsy’s Liquor Warehouse Manager says a homeless looking man is harassing customers as they approach the store entrance.  Homeless man is asking for money then verbally accosting them should they refuse.  Officers sent.

8:22 – Little girl dials 911 crying and upset that her father is sick and unresponsive.  Officers sent.  15 minutes later officer called dispatch indicating girls father was drunk and had passed out.  Social Services was called to remove little girl and father charged with endangerment of a child.

8:29 – obviously drunk woman calls in to complain about a dog that won’t stop barking.  Animal Control was dispatched to assess complaint.  8:45 PM  AC called to notify dispatch to drop complaint as the barking dog belonged to the caller.

8:35 – domestic dispute call from man claiming his wife had set his clothes and golf clubs ablaze and is holding him at bay with a 9 mm Glock  Officers sent.

8:46 – road-rage incident Inca & Floyd (near Blondies) involving yellow Buick and silver Jeep SUV witness says tire iron being used on an ‘old dude.’  Officers sent.

8:49 – 911 call from woman who had caught her hair in her garbage disposal and unable to extricate herself, fire department was notified.

8:56 – Urgent complaint call from Quizno’s about a man urinating in the trash can inside the shop refusing to zip up leaving genitals exposed claiming it as “meat” for patron’s sandwiches.  Officers sent.

There were more calls in the hour but many were simply routine traffic stops and found them unworthy of this posting.  That said this experience has reinforced my appreciation of law enforcement’s tremendous restraint when it comes to dealing with idiots and morons.  Given current hostile feeling toward police in general I felt compelled to stand up for them with this my humble effort.

Less tolerant individuals such as JJ and the Bagwan would have a very brief career as a police officer due largely to questionable shooting incidents leaving suspects lying wounded bleeding on the ground.  Street justice is no longer tolerated!  To get that many calls involving stupidity and/or violence within one hour is quite revealing. Not only about the community I live in, but the cops charged with enforcing its laws as well.

While I’ve had my own run ins with the law most of which deserved, and most of my adult working life spent in the law enforcement market, these men and women that strive to make it a career should be recognized and most are deserving of our support.  All this being said….Cop’s addiction to donuts is very real.


  • bagwan1

    I assume this means you won’t be out tonight.