ZUKI MEETS DR. NERDLOVE…..lessons in how to improve dating, sex, and relationships

nerd-love-630x233Good Morning Dribbling Fancies,

Since the start of 2015 I’ve renewed my obsession with finding a woman.  Not just any women mind you, but an extraordinary woman!  Not only should she love me for the charming adorable character I am today, but also should or tolerate drinking to excess, enjoy accoutrements, art, Lebowski, cook, fine wines, and have a decent appreciation and/or respect for life’s rich pageant.

It’s not as easy as you might think!

I’ve been single for 16 years and had a few opportunities to land such a woman, but something always seemed to sour the deal either on my part or hers.  I’m not really sure why I’m so fixated on this because I’m reasonably sure any relationship I manage to scratch out would eventually turn to shit.  Regardless of the personal freedoms being single affords, I miss the soft touch of a woman.

Our very own Bagwan turned me on to a blog titled “Ask Dr. Nerdlove” containing witty and often funny editorials on dating, sex, and relationships.  If the two or three of you still reading this bag of gas are single and trying to date with a purpose I’d highly recommend reading his blog:


One of today’s features document five (5) keys to having more success in one’s social life and begins with the following paragraph:

One of key aspects to the NerdLove approach to dating is that the key to having more success in your social life – whether it’s more sex, more dates or just finding an amazing relationship – is to become a better, more interesting, more authentic person. It’s trying to get there that’s the problem. This is one of the reasons why people like to toss out platitudes like “just be yourself”  as dating advice – it sounds like a profound and meaningful answer that covers up the real answer of “I really don’t know what to tell you”.

Having a 30 year career in sales, I’m predisposed to making dating a numbers game.  The old adage “it takes 10 ‘no’s’ to get to a ‘yes’ in a general sense is accurate.  The percentage may change depending on what’s being sold, but ultimately most things can be broken down this way.  With the advent of on-line dating sites, Match, Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Tastebuds, and the high-end companies that arrange dates for you make the numbers game viable.

Yet after 10 years of trying…I’ve been able to come up with a two year long-distance but committed relationship with a woman who tried to hide our monthly 3-day weekends from her 35 year old son.  She didn’t want him to know his mother was having sex!  Had an on and off affair with a beautiful Hispanic woman who loved sex but was dumber than a box or rocks.  Met and dated a successful business woman who after 3 months terminated our efforts because she caught me in a lie.

In actually trying to count them, I’ve had approximately 15 one-night stands, stood up 7 times, slapped in the face twice, and have shelled out close to $1,000.00 paying for dinners, drinks, movies, and nightclub receipts while meeting dozens of women that for the most part looked nothing like their profile pictures! GAWD!!!

Most recently I fell in love with a woman that unbeknownst to me was bi-polar!  There were signs but I chose to ignore them and continued my pursuit.  Finally after close to five months, she demonstrated the severity of her affliction while at a nice restaurant… She didn’t approve of how I stated my opinion.  Shocking the hell out of me she screamed “You ASSHOLE!!! You snapped at me” and then at the top of her lungs used colorful language to describe what she thought of me……then left in a huff!

While Doc Nerdlove offers what I consider sound advice, it’s clear his target audience is not 65.  The goal of being a better more interesting authentic person in my case may have run its course.

That said, I’ll have to close for now as I must pick up some BBQ for Angela who’ll be here in 30 minutes to watch the movie “The Big Lebowski”—a very good litmus test.


  • zuki

    No doubt true….but the fun is getting there!

  • zuki

    First of all let me say Stevie Wonder DOES need glasses! Also, it’s Angela not Angelo your Italian ‘Bookie’ asking for BBQ! I’m pleased to announce Angela passed Lebowski test with flying colors and loved the BBQ!! We’re moving on to the next step.

    • bagwan1

      “Moving on to the next step” — which in your case is the break up.

  • bagwan1

    I am touched that you took one of my suggestions seriously. I apologize that part of the advice is for you “to become a better, more interesting, more authentic person.” That’s like telling Stevie Wonder he needs glasses.
    So how did Angelo like the BBQ?