GOD TELLS ZUKI TO BUILD A CHURCH IN KONA ………donations move slowly

Mark Twain conmanGood Morning Pilgrims,

Religious Dogma be it Mormonism or Buddhism is, generally speaking, handed down from one generation to the next completely biased.  Most of us end up with one particular religion imprinted on us from birth so it’s rare someone converts to a different dogma as an adult.  I read an article over the weekend featuring a televangelist named Pastor Creflo Dollar.  I find his name appropriate given his conniving plans to have his congregation pay for a new Gulfstream private jet.

This genre of “Pastors” is nothing more than conmen.  There’s no difference between Bernie Madoff and Creflo Dollar except Bernie is spending the rest of his days in prison.  Dollar pulls his con off in a tax exempt (meaning we subsidize it) church over the airwaves.  He’s asking $300 from anyone who actually believes he speaks with God to collectively raise $65 million for a new G650 Gulfstream!  He makes no apologies—explaining he spoke to God and God said it was good.

Does God actually require a $200 million gathering place?

The Dalai Lama said, “This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”

My idea of spiritual growth falls more in line with Napoleon’s… “Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich”

Ironically we were warned about these nefarious assholes in the New Testament! Matthew 7: 15-16 says, 15 Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.  16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

Creflo Dollar joins a substantial line of con men sucking the life blood out of millions under the guise of being ‘men of God.’  Oral Roberts locked in a tower until his congregation raised a cool million to get him out! Who could forget Jimmy Swaggart’s tearful (phony) confession for a life-long obsession with whores?  Jim Baker, Billy James Hargus, Robert “Put your hands on the TV set” Tilton, and Ted Haggard’s miracle of overcoming homosexuality after 30 days of rehabilitation—clearly these are men of God!

Look, please don’t get me wrong.  I’ve met many who live their religion sacrificing portions of their modest resources to a local church/pastor without larceny in their hearts.  These folks tend to pray in private and quietly go about personal spirituality in their own way.  I respect that.

It’s disturbing to know that literally millions of people are so void of spiritual fulfillment or desperate enough that they fall prey to these cons!  They truly believe writing a $1,200 check and putting their hands on the television set will heal a chronic pain or be showered with riches.  These morons are also part of the problem….C’mon wake up and smell the lucre!

I suspect the two or three of you reading this piffle are smart enough to see through the horseshit and hang on to your respective wallets.  Having said all this though, I’m not one to sit on my hands when opportunity knocks.  I see a fortune to be made off of these poor delusional suckers…I mean people and plan to start my own church.  Don’t worry….God told the good Reverend Marzuki that he needs to build a church in Kona, HI….the poor Polynesian polytheistic pilgrimage needs guidance.

To get ‘Marzuki’s Church of Unabashed Fleecing’ off the ground, particularly in Kona will require I visit the Big Island regularly—asking God to direct me to the location he/she would prefer.

All of this takes a rather large sum of money.  So get on board and join me in this “mission from God.” Please liquidate all assets, drain your bank accounts, and have a ‘garage sale.’  Then catch the first flight to Vegas and walk straight to the nearest Roulette Wheel…..put it all on black.  Don’t doubt this remember….God told me to do this.

See you in Kona for the ‘Turning Water to Wine’ mixer!!!!




  • zuki

    Even without putting your hands on the television set….God will bless you for your most magnanimous gesture!

  • bagwan1

    “Harebrained” is a word applied to the vast majority of his ideas but this time Zuki is on to something. First of all he looks the part. He has a Jimmy Swaggart look about him and he carries himself with that unmistakable Ted Haggard gait. He has a smooth, smarmy delivery and I can’t tell you how many times I have heard religious exultations from those observing him. I have heard people around him shout out “Jesus Christ Zuki” or “Holy Shit.” If he can get those kinds of reactions to his ideas as a layman imagine what he will do as a man of the cloth.
    Let be the first to make a pledge. As soon as I am done typing I am sending over by special messenger an amount equal to my last week’s paycheck.