Once again our very own Bagwan has gently lowered himself into our earthly fray and dwelt among we the unwashed. He has found extra time on his hands which is of course “The Devil’s Workshop” and found himself in mortal combat with Turbo-Tax. This classic battle between good and evil was played out over the weekend. We could all learn valuable lessons if but we could find the same bandwidth as our beloved but troubled Bagwan. Please enjoy:
Weekends this time of year are very boring for me. I prefer to stay out of saloons on weekends because you get a much different element than you do on a Monday afternoon. On Mondays you get guys who for one reason or another don’t have a job. Maybe they are retired, or have a trust fund or maybe they drank too much on weekends and got fired. In any case they are a more docile lot than the crowd you find bellying up to the bar on weekends.
Football solves my weekend blues but once the Super Bowl is over I go into a serious funk. I watched the end of the Daytona 500 but since NASCAR plays their Super Bowl at the start of the season instead of the end, I see no reason to watch the regular season now. I don’t follow hockey, I hate basketball and I only watch golf when Tiger is playing.
I grew up loving baseball in the 1950’s. I could probably still tell you the starting lineup for the 1957 Yankee’s. Somehow I have fallen out of love and I’m not entirely sure why. It probably has something to do with the league being overrun by Latin players. Just to be clear I am talking about players from Latin America NOT American kids of Hispanic heritage. For example Nolan Arenado is a fabulous third baseman for the Rockies who is a Hispanic kid from Newport Beach — in other words, an American. I guess I’m just opposed to America’s pastime being taken over by foreigners of any stripe be they Latin, Japanese or Cossacks. The Japanese deal with this by only allowing 4 foreign born players on any team’s 25 man roster.
This past weekend was a little better. Thanks to Daylight Savings time Sunday was only 23 hours long (every little bit helps). The other thing that took up most of my Saturday is that I decided for the first time ever to do my own taxes on Turbo Tax. That should give you an idea of just how bored I am that a 23 hour Sunday and doing my taxes both cheered me up a little bit.
Looking back now, the tax preparation should have taken about an hour and a half. In my case it took from 9am to 5pm although that includes a half-hour nap. And like any good drama my tax preparation was divided into three parts. Act I was start on TurboTax and get stuck and delete, Act II was start on H&R Block get stuck and delete. For those of you who demand a happy ending you will be glad to know that in Act III I went back to TurboTax, got stuck again but after an hour on hold with the service desk my problem was solved and my returns have already reached their electronic destinations.
Having gone through the process with both TurboTax and H&R Block I consider myself something of an expert now. I am not saying you would want me to do your taxes but in the tax preparation food chain I clearly rank above those idiots you see on street corners dressed up like the Statue of Liberty waving a “walk-ins welcome” sign.
I have a couple of observations that I would like to share after having been guided through the maze of possible deductions. First it is clear that JJ should be declaring Zuki a dependent – or is it a despondent. Second, there have to be at least 5 different “disability credits” that Cush could qualify for.
I did this not only to wash away my boredom but also to save money. I saved about $500 compared to what my CPA charged me last year but who knows if I got it right. Maybe I cheated myself or maybe I shouldn’t have taken that credit for having a blind butler. It will be interesting to see what the IRS thinks of my effort – stay tuned.