BAGWAN’S DEATHBED OBSERVATIONS……..kisses scooby-doo a sad goodbye

flu19Good Morning Subfuscous Mourners,

It seems our very own ‘Bagwan’ has encountered a brush with his mortality.  While in the throes of a fever thinking he might be facing the last of his rotations, and struggling for cognitive thought, he selflessly shared his albeit skewed observations bidding farewell to Scooby-Doo.  Enjoy but please wash your hands in warm soapy water afterward:


Following in the steps of our genial host, I too am going to file a vacation report. My vacation started with my annual trip to see the Cleveland based grandkids. Turns out the little buggers were sick and within 3 days they managed to infect “Popo.” I spent the rest of the trip sick in bed only able to muster enough energy for the return trip to Littlewood the day after Christmas. I then spent another week at home in bed. The only accomplishment I can point to is that for the first time since 8th grade, I went two consecutive weeks without a drink.

Just like Zuki I used the idle time to contemplate the meaning of things. As you can well imagine given the difference in our spiritual and mental awareness there was a vast difference in what we contemplated. I was contemplating the meaning of life, while Zuki was getting high trying to conjure up a mental image of the vagina on that fat little warthog Rachael Ray.

I kind of like his plan for supplementing his retirement income. Applying his natural creativity to a cottage industry for Colorado’s legal cannabis business makes a lot more sense than his prior plan – which was waiting for his ship to come in to our landlocked state. I too am thinking about supplementing my dwindling retirement income. After watching a show on the Discovery Channel I am thinking about buying a couple of burro’s and beginning a search for the Lost Dutchman mine.

Zuki mentioned at the end of his piece that Blondie’s has changed hands. I fear this has huge implications for the principals of Curmudgeon Corner. JJ, Zuki and their band of merry men have now run off two different owners. The lead player in the new ownership group is very young. He has brought in consultants, not restaurant consultants but disaster recovery consultants. Apparently the first order of business is to eliminate that old man smell coming from one end of the bar… we shall see.

Let me end today’s report with an observation I made after being locked in a house for a week with children aged 15, 13 and 10. I was born in Los Angeles in 1948 so that since the first day I came home from the hospital there has always been a television in the house. I grew up believing that Uncle Miltie was really my uncle. I thought if I could just penetrate the screen I could be right there with Buffalo Bob and Howdy in the Peanut gallery.

I never bought into the idea that you needed to limit your kids’ access to TV.  Rich people have the luxury of being able to hire other people to raise their children so why couldn’t I let TV raise mine. When my kids were growing up the TV was on constantly and they watched diligently. When they had kids and dropped them off the first thing I would do is put on the Cartoon Network. My son and his son both share the legacy of Scooby Doo. I can’t tell you the pride I felt watching my youngest grandson master a double remote control system.

Thanks to the Smartphone that is all coming to an end.  These kids don’t watch broadcast TV because they never take their eyes off that device in their clammy little hands. My son-in-law must have 10 TV screens in his house but their only use is for games like “Madden” and “Call to Duty.” I can’t even get the 10 year old to watch Sponge Bob with me.  Facebook, Twitter, Snap Chat, Instagram, gaming, texting and God knows what else now occupy every waking moment.

For me it is the sad end of an era. I can only cling to the slender hope that they are using Hulu to watch reruns of Andy Griffith while they are in class at school.


  • zuki

    The ‘rules’ committee tried to warn you about this procedure…..particularly when Dr. Ejectall announced he’d be using a baster on your lips……now you do indeed have a pretty mouth!

  • zuki

    For the two or three of you new to this our humble forum, it may be helpful to know the Bagwan is not nearly as old as his picture would suggest. That said, a wiser man than me said…, “it’s not his age that matters it’s the mileage.”

    • bagwan1

      I think if you cared at all about being fair you would show them a more recent picture I had taken after my procedure.