SANTINO & SPECIAL LADY FRIEND SEE LIGHT……cush drives one more to suicide

RTH gets on tippy toes
RTH gets on tippy toes

“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”

Mark Twain–

I came across the above quote the other day and immediately thought of my fellow associates here at ‘Curmudgeon Corner.’  While Just JOE will hardly allow anyone to finish a thought before he tries to finish it for them is irritating, but pales when compared to Cush–who by the way was appointed as the ‘Corner’s’ shop steward, “and proud we are of him.”  It doesn’t take one but a few minutes to realize that after Aunt Myrna, Union hall politics, his health, Pulled Pork recipe, and fishing for Walleye it’s clear we’ve essentially heard everything he knows!  The rest is spewed indiscriminately with bits and chunks landing randomly on anyone sucked into further conversation.

While Cush has been much maligned in this our humble forum, and suffice it to say he nearly always means well, so the ‘rules committee’ has agreed to give him a pass regarding what if anything he knows.  Instead we’re going to focus on an up and coming ‘curmudgeon’ whose credentials are certainly suspect, but we enjoy his brand of jocularity and ability to play the jukebox correctly!

“Santino” joined the ‘Corner’ a couple of years ago and was noticed by this observer of ‘Life’s rich pageant’ when he schooled this old fart with a wonderful collection of classic and contemporary blues artists on Blondie’s jukebox—-which given the modest library, is a feat unto itself!

As with all current and past members of ‘Curmudgeon Corner,’ Santino is no doubt flawed.  However, he tends to keep his personal life quiet and won’t suffer significant intrusions into it.  Having said that though, all that does is fire curmudgeons up!  The ‘Corner’ immediately passed the hat and came up with $3.87 and hired the nearly retired and desperately clinging to his manhood ‘Roger the Hairdresser.’ He was given half the money upfront with promises to pay the rest when he locates Santino and his “special lady friend.” His assignment:  to find dirt and other opportunities to besmirch and sully their reputations.

I was impressed with how fast RTH located the aspiring curmudgeons.  The couple lives in a high-rise condominium with a lovely view to the west.  Equipped with high power binoculars and a shotgun microphone RTH used his little limbs and carefully climbed (in cowboy boots) up a large Elm that visually put him on the 5th floor level and was able to look directly into the unsuspecting couple’s living room and kitchen.  RTH held vigil on a tree limb for six hours!

When Roger the Hairdresser showed up to collect his $1.93 of course the committee needed to see just what dirt he’d found.  He’d been able to hook up a telephoto lens and sync the audio & video so we gathered around the devise and watched in utter horror.

In those six hours we saw Santino chasing his “Special lady friend” naked around the couch, eat raw cookie dough, read stories to the neighbor’s kids, prepare a couple meals, smoke a bowl, feed the birds, and assist an old woman with her groceries.  This was hardly the ‘dirt’ I envisioned!

The ‘rules committee’ voted to withhold final payment from RTH until such time he brings home something we can use.  It’s not that we want to expose his peccadillos; rather, knowing him to be flawed somehow makes us all feel better about our own miserable lives.  Stay tuned.