BAGWAN DABBLES IN SNAKE HANDLING…..God puts unwashed on notice

Bagwan exhibits FAITH
Bagwan exhibits FAITH

Good Morning Nefarious Ones,

Again our very own Bagwan has gazed beyond the veil and has witnessed the pain and suffering and has agreed to offer we the unwashed further truth & light.  So it’s with sack cloth and ashes I give you the Bagwan…please enjoy:


I got to wondering if Zuki is considered the black sheep of his family. It is hard to imagine that a devout Mormon couple like Ma and Pa Zuki could have produced a better candidate, but you never know. I would suppose that strict adherence to the tenets of the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints produces an outsized number of rebellious children – or maybe not.

All organized religions have a certain amount of hocus-pocus in them which requires faith and in some cases “blind faith.” Some people buy in and some don’t. I wish I could say that having faith is harmless but it is not. If you don’t believe me then sign up as a convert the next time the snake handlers’ revival comes through town. The problem with “faith” the way I see it used with regards to organized religion is that it is pretending to know something that you don’t.

“Whoa, hold on, wait just a minute” some of you are saying. “Isn’t the Bagwan a Holy Man” you ask? Yes indeed the Bagwan is amongst the holiest of holies but he is not bound by the constraints of any organized religion. The Bagwan is on a spiritual journey of self-awareness in search of higher truths and the true nature of reality. As an aside, that is the first time I have ever spoken of myself in the third person and it’s kind of fun.

If your religious belief is based on superstition and the fear of a vengeful God it may be time to take off the prayer shawl, quit burning incense and take a look around.  When I was growing up as a Catholic in the 1950’s it was a mortal sin to eat meat on Fridays (they later changed the rule). According to Catholic teaching, if you die with a mortal sin on your soul you go straight to hell for eternity. I think it was George Carlin who marveled at the thought of the poor guy doing an eternity in hell for a bologna sandwich.

Let’s be clear here, I am not in any way condemning those who have faith and practice it in there every day lives. That is as long as they practice it as a true and honest belief and not as a reason to hate others. It is amazing how much hypocrisy and hatred, not to mention war and killing, have been done in the name of religion.

While I don’t proselytize I never shy away from the opportunity to help one of the less fortunate understand.  For example Gimpy John (one of the regulars at the Sporting News) was very confused by a religious issue just this past Friday. It seems he had watched the Oakland Raiders upset the Chiefs on Thursday night football. Following the game the Raiders QB was going on and on about how Jesus Christ his Lord and Savior was responsible for this triumph over the Chiefs. “Does this mean that God doesn’t like the Chiefs” Gimpy asked. The Raider QB’s proclamation is a perfect example of someone’s faith confusing the issue. Knowing that John was approaching this as an inveterate gambler and not as a religious zealot I knew how to set his mind at ease. “John, perhaps God bet Oakland on the money line. It was +240 you know.” I could see the light go on in his eyes … I guess we all gotta believe in something.




  • zuki

    The Bagwan has been on a bit of a roll these last few months, and as he’s so clearly states, not bound by the tenets of organized religion! What freedom…..not to be lashed to a tree and whipped! That said, there has to be a special place in hell for anyone removing every nickle from the donation basket! Baggy not only got a hot lunch, but obviously never explained his ‘fee’ structure for appearances. If that wasn’t bad enough….he also collected a half-dozen appliances left in the members front porch! I heard it from a reasonably reliable source the Bagster’s snake was a harmless bull snake but those West Virginians kissing Rattlers never noticed! Jeez.