COOL…CLEAR…WATER…….”and now for something completely different”

Please no Tongues
Please no Tongues

Good Morning from the Pure Waters of the Rocky Mountains,

The weekends nearly always provide experiences of such oddity I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t pass it along.  As humans it’s safe to assume most of us are creatures of habit. We travel the same roads, eat the same foods, and order the same drinks.  It’s rare indeed when we venture outside our relative comfort zones to experience something different.  In many cases when we do, we’re often rewarded with a unique and pleasurable adventure that surprises our cynical selves. Conversely though, there’s always a risk of regret from the undertaking.

Unfortunately I was privy to such an observance that involved my associates Just JOE and the Bagwan. They actually showed some spine and tried something new.  It was so far removed from their normally predictable behavior, that it shocked everyone at the bar!  They both exhibited rare courage and ordered a glass of water instead of the ‘special select Coors Light’ they typically consume. This raised eyebrows the entire length of the bar!  It was like one of those old EF Hutton commercials where they all stop what they’re doing to lean in and listen.

Not wanting to miss the initial reaction from the first swallow I watched as Just JOE took a long draught from his water glass.  Initially there was no reaction, but a few seconds later he began to cough then hack like he smoked three packs of Pall Malls a day.  Bagwan had just finished his first small sip of H2O and noticed his distressed friend.  He began to slap JJ on the back futilely trying to alleviate his involuntary contraction of the muscles that control the process of breathing, if I may be absolutely clinical.

Poor JJ could not get a breath (there were many with their fingers crossed) and threw himself onto the floor knocking over two of the adjacent stools looking very much like a trout out of water as he struggled for air.  Spittle oozed out the sides of his mouth, as he began to turn bluish-green from his convulsive hacking.  Our Bagwan wasted no time.  He leapt from his bar stool to provide CPR to his struggling friend.

I probably didn’t see this right, but it looked as though Bagwan inserted his tongue. Then without explanation he ceased his attempt at the ‘kiss of life’ and rose straight up.  His face had turned ashen, and began to swell up. My God! It appeared Baggy was in the early stages of anaphylactic shock!  As usual Dawn our astute bartender had already called 911 and professional help was on the way. I was too stunned to offer much help other than to force feed the Bagged One Coors Light.  Just JOE’s coughing seemed to be subsiding thanks to Bagwan’s quick thinking and was sitting comfortably on the floor.

The Paramedics were able to stabilize Bagged One’s condition and indicated my decision to put beer back into his system may have saved his life.  No need to thank me, your courage is thanks enough.  I’m happy to report both have recovered and now stable returning to the bar. I hope this story doesn’t discourage the two or three of you reading this piffle from trying new things. However, I think it’s safe to assume water will be scratched from their collective menus until further notice……. Jeez.