BAGWAN SAYS HE CAN DO BETTER THAN ZUKI……zuki says no way….you decide

Just JOE's beloved Mamasan
Just JOE’s beloved Mamasan

Normally I take criticism without feathers ruffled, and calmly thank those who have seen fit to suggest I’m incompetent or worse clueless.  The Bagwan and I were discussing Monday’s post and feeling like my effort regarding Just JOE’s affinity for chocolate cream pie was one of my better posts I told him so.  The ‘Bagged One’ immediately poo-poo’d me saying he was disappointed in the ending.  “Well if you think you could do better, go for it!” I said defensively.  It should be noted at this juncture that I offered JJ a chance to refute or clarify my accounting, but he declined.  So without further blathering, here’s the Bagwan’s alternate ending to the Just JOE and the chocolate cream pie story….enjoy:


The massage parlor’s location on South Federal is a giveaway that despite the name (Madam Hong Kong’s) all the employees are Vietnamese. Back when we were having our little dustup with Ho Chi Mien the United States Army sent Joe over there to set things right. It was at that time that Joe became acquainted with a beetle nut chewing mamasan who became his tour guide. She introduced him to any number of young ladies ranging in age all the way up to 15. She also taught him the Vietnamese language which he lapses into when he adds a half dozen Jello shots to his normal case of Coors Lights. Dawn the bartender at Blondie’s has to use Google Translator on nights when he stays past 9.

The old mamasan died years ago but the girls were all part of the mass migration of Vietnamese who came to our shores after Joe won the war. Joe sponsored their journey to Denver and even set them up in business on South Federal. The “girls” are all now approaching 60 but they still consider “Uncle Joe” as part of their extended family.

What really happened at the parlor that day is a weekly ritual. Uncle Joe brings the pies, the girls brew some tea and they all sit around and discuss sports, politics and the Kardashians — in Vietnamese of course. They lay the the sheet on the table and the plastic on the floor for the same reason that Steakhouse 10 does during Uncle Joe’s birthday parties. He can be a little messy.


  • zuki

    Sophomoric, Juvenile you say? Tis to laugh! Okay maybe a little but I was raised my devout Mormons so most of my crude and callow thoughts were suppressed! Please pardon my insensitivity……As for “Happy Endings” I believe that ship has sailed my friend…

    • bagwan1

      I didn’t say anything about Sophomoric. I was thinking more along the lines of Junior High which ends the year before you become a Sophomore.

  • bagwan1

    I was shocked that Zuki was offended by my comments on Monday afternoon. I heartily complimented him on his creativity and writing but suggested that not all of us like to start the day with a visual which combines chocolate cream pie, a wooden spoon and JJ’s butt crack.
    Once he threw down the gauntlet I knew I was screwed. How could I possibly duel with this man in the arena of crude and juvenile humor?
    Please accept my attempt at an alternative ending as an effort (however futile) to add just a dash of cerebral humor and good taste to the Diatribe.

  • JustJOE

    Neither story ending represents the “happy ending” I routinely experience at said venue!

    • bagwan1

      The only happy ending you get these days involve a toilet and the Sports section of USA Today.