Good Morning Mavens of Quothas,
Once again the Bagwan has slid off the mountain providing we mortals with additional truth and light. I’ve read it several times now and still in a stupor of thought, so please don’t give up. “It’s uh…..it’s down there somewhere….lemme take another look” Enjoy:
One of my favorite authors is a fellow named A. J. Liebling. He started writing for the New Yorker in 1935 and was still there up till the day he died in 1963. If you like to laugh you have to track down one of his books and I would recommend as your starting point, “The Honest Rainmaker.”
The book is about Colonel John R. Stingo — at least that was his nom de plume. He had a career in journalism that spanned 60 years and along the way dabbled in managing prize fighters, touting race horses and working with con men. The title Honest Rainmaker refers to a time when he assisted a charlatan who was paid at various times either to make it rain or make it not rain.
The Colonel had a terrific way with words. In describing himself he says, “I am fabulous out of the gate. But anyone who bets on me in more than 6 furlongs is going to be disappointed.” He observes that, “Disasters never run singly, but always as an entry.”
As opposed to some of the vulgarity you encounter around here where you will hear crude references to the female anatomy, the Colonel will politely refer to “ladies’ delicate recesses.”
A commercial I saw recently reminded me of one of my favorite quotes of his where he yearns for the time, “When the men were men and the women didn’t use talcum powder.” The commercial is one of those ambulance chasing specials where lawyers are putting together a class action suit claiming that talcum powder has caused ovarian cancer.
A goggle search takes you to the American Cancer Society website which indicates that studies have had mixed results and yield no definitive answer. But what am I thinking going to the ACS website when I have sources right here in Just Joe and Zuki.
I went to JJ first because I thought he would give the issue more serious consideration than Zuki. He admitted that as an aged, lifelong bachelor he had limited exposure to ladies personal hygiene but was adamant that he had never once seen a lady sprinkling baby powder on her ovaries. I had to explain that what we were talking about here was a journey through the vagina, uterus, and fallopian tubes to the ovary. JJ seemed confused and turned back to his Coors Light. I am told he was seen later in the evening poring over an anatomy book with Dawn the bartender.
Zuki of course understood the concept of the journey which launched him into detailed discussion of the suction capabilities of that part of the female. I am not going to bore you with all the scientific details but he was convinced that it was possible. As further proof he cited a Mormon field trip to Tijuana where he and some of his buddies saw a dancer pick a silver dollar up off the stage and no hands were involved.
All this reminds me of an episode on the Jack Benny show when he goes to the drug store to buy some baby powder. The female clerk turns and sashays away saying “walk this way.” Jack turns back to the audience and with that signature, deadpan look of his replies, “If I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the baby powder.”