ZUKI FINDS ART AT TOAD TAVERN……unhappy owner cuts a new deal

Eureka!!__Good Morning Geriatric Meddlers,

Well another rotation has come and gone.  Given my current physical condition though, a couple of definitions for “Geriatric” come to mind.  They go a long way in describing how I feel…….and is listed below:

— adj

  1. of or relating to geriatric medicine or to older people
  2. offensive (of people or machines) old, obsolescent, worn out, or useless

With the exception of useless, and there are those who’d put me in that category out of hand, and they know who they are, but I’d like to think I’m capable of something on some level!  But as for the other definitions….I’ll let you decide.

I was graciously treated to my birthday debauchery facilitated by JJ (thanks JJ) with a visit to the ‘Toad Tavern’ aided by the hard driving blues artist Chris Duarte out of Austin, TX.  He’s produced a number of CD’s and songs so I figured it was going to be wall to wall ‘geezers’ but was pleasantly surprised to find a seat at the bar given our late arrival.

The music was good and the drinks were flowing; I even had a chance to step outside for a bit of ‘accoutrements’ suitable for the occasion!  Thankful for the self-medicated bliss I was able to ignore the arthritic knee and hip to enjoy some dancing.  I later discovered one of my partners was an owner. I guessed her to be in her early to mid ‘forties’ but dressed and wore her hair as if she was a character from “Mad Men” but seemed to be enjoying our banter.

Grabbing my hand she led me away from the bar and walked me to the very end of the pool table area facing the back wall where she had set up a gallery of drawings and prints from local artists.  She invited me to bring in a couple of my sculptures, but I explained I would need floor space which gave her pause.  But seconds later her eyes lit up and I could almost see the explanation point above her head!

Just before the corners met there was a small opening that I hadn’t noticed.  Shaped like a capital ‘L’ the hallway led to an office.  There was no door but the shape prevented anyone from seeing in until you actually entered the small office.  “We could put one of your pieces at the apex and one at the entry” she said excitedly then followed, “I’ll install just enough track lighting to illuminate them you’ll see…let’s try.”

If one sells their displayed work, the Toad will keep 30% which is what most galleries take, but I still think that’s gouging so we began to negotiate.  I immediately knew I had no chance as soon as she began to rub up against me pulling me in by my butt cheeks….Her tongue launched down my throat and things quickly became urgent.  Pushed against the modest desk I began to release her tits from their confines…. when right on cue both legs cramped straightening me up in pain.  She must have mistaken my screams of pain as pleasure as she intensified her efforts…because while tonging my ear she whispered “I’ll finish you of off for 40%”—then continued her ministrations with me hobbled in pain!

I admire those patrons supporting local artists and an extra 10% for art lovers is a small price to pay.



  • zuki

    GAWD!! that sounds very painful, but your no doubt right—it would have been worth 60% not to have both legs cramp simultaneously!!!

  • an OTPHJ is more than fair payment these days.

  • Guest

    60% and an OTPHJ is really reasonable in this economy.

  • zuki

    Yes I heard all about it…..evidently things aren’t going to well in the marriage department but she’s one tough negotiator! Hell I chose to cover this portion and left out the part where I was approached by a hooker hanging out with a midget….oh sorry…I mean little person offering anal…never quite understood who’s anal was being discussed.

    • bagwan1

      You know a crowded elevator smells different to a midget.

  • bagwan1

    There is a woman owner at the Toad but there is also a man — her husband.
    Since I have apparently yet again missed his birthday I am going to refrain from calling bullshit on his story.