THE FEAR AND STENCH OF DEATH……aloha let’s eat down at the luau

pcc-imu-1Good Morning Dipsomaniacs,

I think it’s important we continually remind ourselves that life’s rich pageant is but a fleeting moment, an infinitesimal speck of dust orbiting within the expanding universe subject to flicker and die.  Life isn’t over at 65,….but it sure seems like it.  Don’t misunderstand, in my feeble mind I’m still 25, nimble, and swift of foot, but when I get up in the morning there’s a long list of ailments and/or maladies that beset me and drag me back to reality.  Yeah yeah I realize most of us hate getting older and should buck up and deal with the eventuality of death.  I’m hip….

The problem with that is I’m truly not prepared to die.  Like holding the winning Powerball ticket, I have hope that modern science will find the ultimate “Fountain of Youth” and stop if not reverse the aging process.  I don’t think that’s too much to ask.  Yes…, please…I know I’m letting hope overcome reason, but as the line goes in the movie ‘Shawshank Redemption’……Red and Andy are discussing the pros and cons of having hope while doing time, Andy says to Red…“You either get busy living or get busy dying.”

Borderline morbidity some would say!  Of course this all depends on the age of those that would take me to task on this.  I think it was George Bernard Shaw or Oscar Wilde (both were credited) who said “Youth is wasted on the young.”   It takes 60 plus rotations to appreciate that remark because only from the perspective of age can one see how one’s own youth was squandered.    Would I have done things differently if I was given a ‘do-over’?

I’d like to think so….

For the two or three of you still reading this bereavement, the typical response to death is to ignore it and maybe it’ll go away.  For most of us death is not a pleasant topic of conversation unless of course you happen to be sitting at ‘Curmudgeon Corner’ where death and/or hoping for someone else’s death are commonplace.  This fear has been a response to death ever since the first caveman went up against the Saber Tooth Tiger with a pointy stick!

In some cultures the burning of corpses to destroy evil spirits was sensible hygiene and seems like a good idea to me.  Yet some cultures would eat the deceased as a show of respect to the person who died!  It’s a striking contrast to be sure.  I began to think about all the meat on the hoof represented at the corner; any one single ‘Committee Member’ could feed us all for a week!  How would you cook the Dv’ant or Cush?  I’m leaning toward lining a pit with stones and bury the body with layers of hot ash and banana leaves baking 12 hours and then eat them like a pig served up in a Hawaiian Luau.  Ummmmmmmm….  The other benefit lies in the fact you’re able to toss the gristle and bones right back into the pit; a ready-made grave!

I do indeed have something to live for!!  Jeez.


  • zuki

    You are correct sir!

    You make a good point as nobody in their right mind would bake delicate
    meat such as the Teamster ‘Cush’ for 12 hours in a pig pit. There’d be nothing left to gnaw on let alone
    remains to be tossed. So the Dv’ant’s tough skin and emotionless expression is better in a slow cook environment.

    A bit of research reveals that some culture’s delicacies are those made from a goat’s head. This delicate meat also includes the brain, eyes, ears, teeth and tongue. To prepare the goat head prior to cooking, clean the head well. The hair is removed then singed to remove what is left. A word of caution though, this is best done outside due to the ‘Teamster’s odor. By leaving the skin on……imparts a deeper meat flavor.

    • bagwan1

      The heart can be quite tasty also. The Banker’s heart is difficult to find as it is about the size and consistency of a single corn nut. Cush’s heart will be easy to find since he always wears it on his sleeve.

  • bagwan1

    You are making a mistake here assuming that you would use the same recipe to cook Cush as you would to cook DV ANT. One is a banker and the other a union truck driver. The banker is tough and thick-skinned, you would need to find a good recipe for cooking rhino’s. The union truck driver is protected from hard work by myriad rules and regulations — find a recipe for a delicate, tender veal.