Good Morning Children of Estivation,
Since the return of this our humble forum I’ve heard from several of you. Most were supportive and said they’d start tuning in again to which I’m grateful. But there was one of you that mocked me wishing me to “Die from a slow and painful stomach cramp.” That hurt a little….but I moved on.
I learned fairly early in life that not everyone is going to like me. Still in my own mind (such as it is) I expect everyone to like me and never understand when someone expresses displeasure with something I said or acted out. Then there are situations when friends don’t see the humor when the joke is at their expense and feel ganged up on. Being thin skinned will, most times, result in “leaving in a huff” yelling insults feeling hurt over essentially nothing. Yet the delicate among us are doomed to be a target.
Last Friday I witnessed a terrible example of being thin-skinned.
Our good friend ‘Cush’ had just returned to ‘Curmudgeon Corner’ from a week in Keystone and came bearing gifts. Cush and his bride are collectors. To illustrate just how badly they suffer from collection stockpile syndrome, they’ve dedicated an entire room to Denver Bronco & Avalanche memorabilia including jerseys, photo’s (many with autographs) and other such stuff you’d find in most “Man Caves.” That said, and to put this in proper context, most man caves include a bar and/or a regulation sized pool table! In Cush’s shrine there’s barely room to stand….with boxes of stuff stacked 6 or 7 feet high! I think it would comfortably fit the clinical definition of “Hoarding.”
Cush was thoughtful enough to buy “Keystone” t-shirts for Dawn the bartender, Just Joe, and yours truly. Cush, being worried about beer staining the new garment, put mine in a plastic bag and hung it on the back of my chair. JJ came in about an hour later and found his usual place at the bar. An excited Cush fished out his t-shirt smiling ear to ear, and as if an ancient artifact carefully presented his gift to JJ who immediately said thank you and set the cotton blend shirt next to him on the bar returning to his beer.
After a near miss, a spilt beer courtesy of Roger the hairdresser, Cush in a concerned voice pleaded with JJ to remove it from the bar and put it in a plastic bag while pointing to my example. JJ who obviously had enough of this whining about spilt beer; spread his gift over the bar with the ‘Keystone’ graphic facing up. He then took his glass of Coors’s Light and in a very cruel mean spirited way carefully poured most of his brew on the t-shirt. This ignited the corner into laughter because it was genuinely unexpected catching us all off guard, eliciting huge guffaws.
Bristled and embarrassed Cush told us all to “fuck ourselves” and like a petulant child stomped out in a huff! JJ ran after him yelling “Come back Cush…Come back….I’m sorry” but it was too late, the damage was done.
For the two or three of you still reading this barbarous cumshaw I hope this will be a lesson to you. When you accept a gift from another person, particularly a friend, don’t wipe your ass with it until you get home!! Jeez….