Good Morning Patron Saint Andrews,
Mark Twain described the game of Golf as a ‘Good Walk Spoiled.’ Those words best describe my play in this year’s tournament. I’m profoundly disappointed in the outcome, and although many consider me overbearingly competitive, I know of no other way. The two or three of you reading this rule book must agree that playing a game, any game, the object is to win. This is true of trivia, poker, monopoly, and yes it is the same in golf. Unfortunately my skills don’t always measure up to my desire to win and last Saturdays contest suffered. I personally let team Zuki down when of course I could have made a difference. It wasn’t my day.
I had prepared an acceptance speech that was so sickening; it may have driven the crowd to violence. It was memorized and had practiced every hand gesture and nuance to provoke my fellow competitors to rush the platform. I’ve never experienced such a waste of time since trying to enter law school. I feel compelled to share it with you, but sense it won’t have the same impact given most don’t give a rat’s patootie. So suffice it to say SECOND PLACE SUCKS!!