MUST CUT MY OWN SWITCH…AGAIN!……zuki considers punishment vs crime

Good Morning Fructifying Players,

I’m sorry for my slothful behavior, but given my recent birthday and subsequent party mode I didn’t put pen to paper. Late 2007 I was tagged for a DUI and was forced to attend “counseling” as part of my punishment. I took issue with it and did my very best ‘passive/aggressive’ work. I think you’ll like it:

Good Morning Complaisant Ones,

For the two or three of you reading this trip to the ‘woodshed’ you may recall my emotional outburst while in last weeks “therapy”. This euphemism for punishment has become the mantra for every politician that needs non-committal support either way! The years of compromise with M.A.D.D. a collection of vindictive withered cows has resulted in “Therapy” to actually be absorbed by the penal code!

This abject hypocrisy and its prescribed activities are nothing more than taunting! Even at face value the information available is not only dated, but unreadable as well. This state mandated scam is politically sanctioned by one of the most effective lobby groups in the WORLD in M.A.D.D., and there’s nothing short of blackmail that will save us!

It seems news of my oratory traveled fast and ultimately received by the Director. Now try and follow me here. No guy (male) stayed behind after being dismissed so I assume my “counselor” and the other women present threw me under the bus. So the director hears this tale of woe and abuse and calls me at work.

I reminded her that I was working, but forgave her citing her need to be intrusive and no doubt jaded by it. She apologized and asked if I would call her, (small victory) but instead allowed her to continue. According to the Director, I’m making everyone there uncomfortable.

I asked her to define group therapy which she did. I then pointed out I was merely expressing my feelings to the group and how could I have possibly known they’d take it personally. How do I modify my input to best fit the definition? She seemed a bit lost and replied, “I wasn’t there so I can’t say, but you affected many that were.”

“I see”, I mused, “So is it better if I just sit there and never say anything? At least no one would feel uncomfortable, and for the record Ms. Director I never used foul or inappropriate language. Outside of Peggy I didn’t single anyone out nor did I swear. Very simply I emotionally stated how I felt!” Ms. Director meekly pled that my silence is not what she wanted either, but it was clear she was relieved.

So last night was the first session after my outburst. I walked into the room and nearly all conversation ceased. The tension and discomfort were thick and heavy, just as I suspected it might be. I quietly took a seat and opened a book. Yes, that’s right, I did have the presence of mind to stave off boredom. If I’m going to sit here in silence I might as well bring a book to read. I’ve got about 200 pages left to finish Doris Kerns Goodwin’s “Team of Rivals.” The 1200 page historical account of Lincoln’s presidency is interesting but heavy reading for me.

As usual, Pollyanna is 15 minutes late getting started allowing me to read two (2) pages, and with my nose still pointed downward she started the session.

Each session begins with everyone stating their first name and tells everyone how ‘great’ they’re doing! With the exception of yours truly all quietly stated their names and explained to all they’re doing fine. When my turn came I could see the apprehension in Pollyanna’s face so I paused much longer than one would expect further driving tension into her black heart. I stood up and told everyone I was going to read the following statement:

“My name is Marzuki and as I’ve said each week I hate being here and consider this intrusion on my privacy outrageous! Evidently my remarks at the close of last week’s futility caused several of you to be uncomfortable. For that, I’m truly sorry as that was never my intention. However, I stand behind the content of my remarks. After what I’m sure to be a one-sided accounting of last week’s input, it’s been made clear my feelings are not welcome in group as the collective discomfort by such remarks pose a threat to our collective healing and I don’t want that on my conscience! So for the betterment of the group, I shall remain silent and never again expose you to the horrors of truly open dialog.”

To be totally honest here, there was a smattering of applause after my statement.

For whatever reason, the goofy mindless piffle was held to a minimum and had read nearly ten pages when she asked me a question. “Mike can you share with us a moment or an event that brought you sheer joy?” It’s now obvious the woman is baiting me so I mustered up the best ‘fuck you’ glare I could and fixed my stare directly into her eyes never wavering. Careful not to look satanic but we had an old fashioned ‘stare down’ but she was no match for me and broke away babbling to the next person.

I discovered something about Pollyanna. She will not make eye-contact for more than a second or two. Knowing I’d probably provoke another trip to the woodshed I put the book down anyway and began staring at her.

The last 30 minutes of ‘therapy’ I continued to engage her by eye contact. I caught her several times before she finally refused to look at me. I think this upset her because in her feeble little mind I’m sure she expects me to begin stalking her or worse report me to the police. In the future I’ll not make it a 24/7 experience in intensity, rather just create a couple of tense moments. I wonder how she’ll couch this one to the good director. “Make him stop looking at me!” Can you imagine? Yet I don’t want to change locations! It’s very convenient for me and I’m semi-reluctant to give it up….yet…..If I can make her life miserable while there, then I’ll consider justice to have been served.

Hopefully, there’s two or three of you that remember the Jack Nicholson film “One Flew Over the Coo-Coo’s Nest”. In my mind Nurse Ratchet is the embodiment of “female control” within the auspices of mandated judgments and is representative of my current frustration; PROCEDURE DICTATES THE CONSEQUENCES NOT THE CRIME….

Collectively, we’ll pay a great price for this in the near future.

Each week I’m suffering a partial lobotomy for each of you just as Jack’s character did in the movie, except rest assured….THEY’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!

zuki