WHO WINS CRITICS ASKS?……..zuki learns ‘art speak’ and passes it on

Good Morning Keepers of the Faith,

In every exchange, whether it be professional or personal there’s a good chance quodlibets are used to save the day. A good debate uses every nuance and gesture.

“Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels; it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled.”  Michael Crichton  

This resembles how our beloved president likes to debate, with bluster and bullshit with a touch of dickhead. If you watched the ‘State of the Union’ speech you witnessed the ‘Master of Manipulation’ and should immediately give yourself a swirly!

If you tend to be an obsequious weakling, you’ve no doubt ever been in a formal debate, however, everyone including the two or three of you still reading this decathect debate every day with friends and family.  For example; where do you want to eat? Should we re-model the basement? Does this dress make me look fat? I think you get the idea.

I mention this to ensure the story I’m about to unfold is taken in the proper context.

As most of you know, six years ago I made an awkward re-entry into the world of art. I’d forgotten how pretentious and self-absorbed artists can be and had to find that mindset.  Eventually, I was asked to have a show featuring my work. I had my wine & cheese opening and enjoyed very much being back amongst patrons and artists discussing the merits or demerits of my work. One should have a thick skin because it can get brutal.

Art-speak mostly adopted by art critics (those who are unable to create but attach themselves to those that can) utilize language to spin an illusionary sometimes mystical aura around a piece either to praise it or tear it down with or without the artist’s vision for it.

What is the real value of one person’s opinion? Yeah, I feel the same.

I’ve long been a proponent of euthanizing all art critics. There’s no need to torture them per se’ but they all need to go! Not just art critics either, but commentators on movies, plays, literature, and all other self-described experts hell-bent on airing their opinions.

Given the consequences for killing even an art critic the above is unlikely to happen. So I’m going to share with you a simple formula for engaging artists and critics of all kinds. To begin, memorize the following list of words and their meanings in context:

  1. Juxtapose
  2. Foreground
  3. Contrast
  4. Atmosphere

Once you get comfortable with using the above words conversationally you can walk away from the encounter leaving an impression about your enlightenment. In other words, you will have the last laugh, leaving the artist a bit stupefied not quite sure if he/she has just been had… You gotta love that!