PHILADELPHIA IS HISTORICAL HELL…..zuki runs homeless gauntlet

Good Morning Plebeians,

Ahhhh yes! There’s nothing quite like the smell of sewage with a tinge of diesel fuel, accented by the body odor of 10,000 homeless people to remind me of what was once our nation’s capital.

Philadelphia is in full hustle mode any time of day or night and I finally quit handing out dollar bills like I was in a topless place–letting hope overcome reason. It’s not my fault these hordes of homeless are living beneath the stairs of the beautiful City Hall building. I did not create their current situation and feel no obligation to support them given my pretty face and full employment.

I know first-hand what it’s like to be homeless. It takes considerable effort to extract oneself from underneath the viaduct, yet it can be done. The mumblers, screamers, preachers, and those that have simply given up one must weave in and out then step over multiple ‘crazies’ to get 6 blocks to the convention center is a unique experience.

For the two or three of you missing that day in elementary school, the city of Philadelphia is the largest city in Pennsylvania which was one of the original 13 state commonwealths. There is much history here if you can find it nestled beneath the garbage and the stench of humanity but well worth the bulldozer rented to excavate your way to history.

The Liberty Bell is indeed cracked, Independence Hall where the founding fathers risked their lives by signing the Declaration of Independence is amazing, and the Betsy Ross House, Ben Franklin’s printing press, and George Washington’s Valley Forge tent headquarters located in the Museum of the American Revolution are just a few to start with.

Then there’s the famous Philly Cheese Steak… I have to admit they’re pretty damn good.

These conferences are tightly scheduled so I didn’t have much time to scout around but did meet a lovely woman named Leslie at our booth. She’s the Sales Manager at a law enforcement magazine and was hoping to meet our marketing director who was not there at the time. She lives in Santa Monica, CA. and invited me to dinner next time I’m in So-Cal…stay tuned.

The gauntlet was thrown down the first day as I discovered I hadn’t brought hair gel. If I don’t use a little ‘product’ on my wiry gray hair I tend to look like Christopher Lloyd (character Rev Jim on Taxi) of the ‘Back to the Future’ franchise. My hair looked as though I’d stuck my head out of the window for a 60 mph drive to the convention center…jeez.

We had our customer appreciation dinner upstairs at the Museum of the American Revolution and had the best salmon I’ve had in many years. The wait-staff carried one white and one red wine bottle in each hand so it was a “bottomless” glass of wine. With the exception of Vinny, all were drunk and probably too loud. Drunken cops are about as obnoxious as it gets, but lovable characters all…

I enjoyed my three-day diversion but now embroiled with the hotel accounting department. For a three-night stay paid in full by my company they managed to charge me $1,071.22 for “Incidentals” and rent is almost due!

So if ever you’re in Philadelphia and enjoy being bilked, by all means, stay at the Sonesta Hotel!

zuki