Good Morning Animal Husbandry, (2011)
While it’s never been proven, leastwise not to my knowledge but cretinism seems to be on the rise. There have been a significant number of dwarf sightings beginning at Cush’s Christmas party. Its one thing to be a dwarf, but to be a mentally retarded dwarf would no doubt test anyone’s faith. I didn’t notice it at first, but last Saturday while shopping at Walmart for a new sports jacket and shoes, a drooling dwarf squeezing the substance out of a tube of Preparation ‘H’ all over his little shoes appeared and stopped foot traffic cold. There was a bit of snickering among the screams, but only the morbid hung around to see what was next.
Then later the same day I ordered tacos at the ‘Bell’ and when I approached the drive-through pay window all I could see was the top of a paper hat with little arms flailing about cussing out a co-worker for hiding his/her step stool. I lost my appetite.
This sudden rise in dwarfism is troubling and will no doubt become a campaign issue for Trump and the 2020 presidential election. Think about it. A fat, crippled, retarded, wheelchair-bound dwarf will bury the legal system with countless discrimination suits all stemming from the “Americans with Disabilities Act.” This will require every single business owner to not only install ramps, but the additional footstools, miniature treadmills, and enough “Speak & Spells” for the retarded will negatively affect job creation if not altogether put business owners under! Am I the only one that sees this coming!?
Don’t get me wrong I feel sorry for these glandular deprived freaks but let’s face it who wants to go down in flames because dwarves are breeding like Rabbits? When one adds unemployment insurance atop the costs of supporting them both medically and professionally we’ll never balance the out of control deficit. To my knowledge, this growing problem is not addressed in Obama-Care or the Republican plan nobody ever saw! I for one will not take this lying down! “This aggression will not stand!”
I beg the two or three of you still reading this propagation to join me in writing a strongly worded letter to your representatives in Washington. These assholes have done little if anything the last decade and believe we the people are long overdue for a little ‘public service’ and nip this dwarf thing in the bud.
C’mon now let’s kick those little bastards back to Disneyland where they belong!
And don’t forget to have a Merry Christmas,