Good Morning Rebarbative Toadies,
Mark Twain once said, “I suppose I shall come in under the head of “sinners at large” – but I don’t mind that; I am no better than any other sinner and I am not entitled to special consideration. They pray for the congregation first, you know – and with considerable vim; then they pray mildly for other denominations; then for the near relations of the congregation; then for their distant relatives; then for the surrounding community; then for the state; then for the Government officers; then for the United States; then for North America; then for the whole Continent; then for England, Ireland, and Scotland; France, Germany and Italy; Russia, Prussia and Austria; then for the inhabitants of Norway, Sweden and Timbuctoo; and those of Saturn, Jupiter and New Jersey; and then they give the niggers a lift, and the Hindoos a lift, and the Turks a lift, and the Chinese a lift; and then, after they have got the fountain of mercy bailed out as dry as an ash-hopper, they be-speak the sediment left in the bottom of it for us poor “Sinners at Large.”
I’m particularly drawn to the above quotation as it tends to, in Twain’s sardonic manner; accurately describes many of the self-serving personal and public prayers. I get that. In the Pantheon of prayers, it’s best one leaves nothing to chance and pray for all of it, lest we piss off one of the lesser Gods, i.e., the God of Wisdom.
During my lifetime of Thanksgiving dinners, nearly all of them began with a prayer. Usually offered up by the family patriarch and the (Mormons are well practiced at this) ensuing verbiage prioritizes much the same as Twain’s breakdown listed above.
That said, once the prayer is finished that’s when Thanksgiving begins in earnest. Who hates Trump? Pass the potatoes please…. Who loves Trump? “This is lovely Tripe Aunt Myrna….” Are the doctors really to blame for the opioid crisis? “Why are there no lumps in my gravy Nancy Lee…?” Does Al Franken need to resign? “I must have the recipe for this jello salad….are those marshmallows?” Who are these victims bringing down Charlie Rose? “Is this Cool Whip or whipped cream?” This is just a brief sample of how a wonderful dinner shared by family and friends can morph into a donnybrook!
Look, one doesn’t have to be particularly religious to be thankful. Before you go any further, take out your yellow legal pad and sharpie to list those things you’re thankful for. It’s good to write them down…. A solid example would be Jimbo the Maggot’s Head Bartender….I imagine number one on his list is his Black Corvette, (I pity the bird that dares to soil his ‘Vette’) then maybe his wife/daughter, then his upcoming settlement, (Lord, I’m thinking $500,000 but feel free to add to that).
Me personally, I am thankful for my children & grandchildren I adore, to be employed, having a roof over my head, a new knee, and be one level from ‘Self Actualization’ on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs! I fell off in 2005 and it’s been a bitch to climb back up.
Do you think God takes into consideration the order of things to be blessed and/or acknowledged? Maybe, but it does give him an idea of what you love most.
For the two or three of you still reading this fetor let me just say thanks for supporting this our humble forum and part-time catharsis. Somehow it makes me feel better about myself.
Gather your family & friends around you and recognize what brings you together is far more important than your differences.
HAVE A FABULOUS THANKSGIVING WEEKEND!