CHICKENS COME HOME TO ROOST……zuki coughs up a hairball

Good Morning Buttinski’s,

The trouble with chronic pain is that it’s chronic! After 68 rotations the words of many of my influencers have come back to me in mostly haunting refrains.

We’ve all heard these would-be axioms from parents, teachers, peers, and sometimes even strangers. Statements like, “Don’t sit too close to the TV it will ruin your eyes,” “If you don’t stop doing that, hair will grow from your palms,” “Save your money for a rainy day,” “Eat right and exercise,” ”The grass is always greener on the other side,” There are only twenty-four hours in a day,” “Just wait until your father gets home,” “You don’t get something for nothing,” “Who do you think I am, Rockefeller?” and probably one of my favorites, “I’ve only got two hands!” I think most would agree they’ve heard the above or similar on more than one occasion. According to a reasonably reliable source, I’m almost sure ‘Murph the Hairdresser’ shaves at least one palm!

If you stop for a minute to take a deep breath and think about the above cliché’s from the standpoint of aging, you might be surprised at how accurate they are.

As I go down the abbreviated list, TV has diminished my eyesight. I have hair on both palms and currently in the middle of a Hurricane, much too fat and out of breath to get out of the way; all while looking for another venue. I’m always paying for ‘free services’ and now actually witness all 24 hours of the day creep by. Sadly I no longer have two hands as one of them shakes so badly it’s rendered useless. It suddenly dawned on me that most of these sayings have indeed come to past and now messes with my life!

What is it about advice that relegates it to the ignored file? 20 years ago I brushed off a stock tip from an inside source. I mean this was that once in a lifetime opportunity you always hear about and to this day it’s the only thing that could make me eat a bullet! The stock has split 6 times and anyone that got in did extremely well. Of course, not all advice is sound. Perhaps this sort of partial reinforcement could explain why we tend to ignore unsolicited suggestions. I need to point out that the word ‘ignore’ is properly used of things that are present in our surroundings; but for things like rules, conventions, stipulations, contracts, the right word is ‘disregard’ which as you might guess has its own set of consequences. Let’s just say I’ve been enthusiastically slapped around by both examples.

Without getting too clinical here, I’m certain the pooh-poohing of advice, good or bad, is a deep-seated primeval trait tied to survival skills and genetically handed down through the millennia’s. Go ahead and ask yourself how many times you’ve said either aloud or stored within your inside voice…, “That dipshit couldn’t figure his/her way out of a ‘Chinese Finger Trap’ and now they’re giving ME advice?” Whatever admonition proffered is now lost forever or at least until the truth of it is manifested! Either way it’s too late.

You’ll have to excuse me now. I must attend a group therapy class on how to deal with ‘Persistent Geriatric Flatulence’ or PGF; seedier maladies are rare!