THE IRS ATE MY ASS COLON AND ALL….zuki finds comfort in fetal position

Good Morning Suffering Masses,

I don’t know about you but the corybantic storm that governed my life yesterday has transitioned into a sense of serenity and calm.  I realize that paying one’s taxes is the civic thing to do given the endless blessings I enjoy from living in this great land.  My luxurious lifestyle aside l think it noteworthy to make a partial list of how our lives are made better by the federal and state governments that insist on taking our money.

The Military:  Without question, the U.S. maintains and has built the most powerful Military machine in the world.  How else could we become the world’s policeman maintaining a presence in Iraq and Afghanistan spending billions of my hard earned money to prop up phony democracies that ultimately will fall prey to radical disciples of Ben Laden or Isis dreaming of 72 virgins.  Money well spent indeed.

Infrastructure:  its true Eisenhower was impressed with Germany’s autobahn and created our interstate system which I do appreciate.  However, do you realize a big percentage of every gallon of gas purchased also goes toward infrastructure?  So now that we’re approaching $3 per gallon it feels good to pay taxes for our crumbling roads, after all, we use them every day.  Annual license plate tags are conveniently called ‘registration.’  This money goes to state coffers yet our lawmakers have the unmitigated gall to charge us again every April!  The amount continues to go up so we can better pay union scale! 

Welfare:  While I believe in a safety net for those who through no fault of their own lose jobs or become disabled and unable to work, but have a difficult time with permanent welfare for able-bodied people whose only work is to work the system and never attempt to find employment.  I know several of our own who drain the maximum amount of money from welfare (okay unemployment) before they even attempt to find work.  ‘Welfare Queens’ commit fraud at the taxpayers’ expense.    “They have eighty names, thirty addresses, twelve Social Security cards and collect veteran’s benefits on non-existing deceased husbands. They collect Social Security on each card.  They have Medicaid, get food stamps, and collect welfare under each name.  Their tax-free cash income is over $150,000!”  God forbid lawmakers to require work for pay!  Again money well spent.

Additional Taxes:  For the sake of brevity, in addition to the traditional pasting from the state and feds there are myriads of taxes we get raped with such as sales tax, property tax, gift and estate tax, import duty tax, alcohol and cigarette taxes, not to mention a death tax!  I think George Harrison said it best in his song “Taxman”  

One, two, three, four…
Hrmm!
One, two, (one, two, three, four!)

Let me tell you how it will be;
There’s one for you, nineteen for me.
‘Cause I’m the taxman,
Yeah, I’m the taxman.

Should five per cent appear too small,
Be thankful I don’t take it all.
‘Cause I’m the taxman,
Yeah, I’m the taxman.

(if you drive a car, car;) – I’ll tax the street;
(if you try to sit, sit;) – I’ll tax your seat;
(if you get too cold, cold;) – I’ll tax the heat;
(if you take a walk, walk;) – I’ll tax your feet.

Taxman!

‘Cause I’m the taxman,
Yeah, I’m the taxman.

Don’t ask me what I want it for, (ah-ah, mister Wilson)
If you don’t want to pay some more. (ah-ah, mister heath)
‘Cause I’m the taxman,
Yeah, I’m the taxman.

Now my advice for those who die, (taxman)
Declare the pennies on your eyes. (taxman)
‘Cause I’m the taxman,
Yeah, I’m the taxman.

And you’re working for no one but me.

Taxman!