WHY IS IT I DO EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY?…….zuki ponders manic side

bipolarGood Morning Victims of Hebetude,

It’s never easy being me…..and as odd as it may sound it was said by my late friend when he asked me point blank; why do you do everything the hard way?!  There are two schools of thought about why this is the case.  First, and probably the majority, think I consciously choose to do things in the most convoluted ill-thought-out way simply so I can bitch about how unfairly I was treated.  I have a difficult time refuting this claim.  Secondly, is that I’m genetically damaged and incapable of doing things any other way.  I’ll let you decide what camp you’re in.

For the last four months, I’ve been chasing a younger woman (57) who is attractive, has a nice body, and is VERY enthusiastic about sex!  Up until four months ago, my sexual encounters were sporadic at best.  So for a short while, I was able to access the “Way Back Machine” returning to 18 sporting a permanent boner!  My skin cleared up, found a spring in my step, and you couldn’t wipe the smile off my face!

I was smitten!

For the two or three of you still reading this Lithium laced gaffe, last Saturday I was in her company each waking hour and enjoyed all but the last ten minutes of it.  Finishing off a lovely dinner she asked me what I meant (not the sharpest knife in the drawer) by something I wrote in an email a week prior.  I couldn’t remember what she was referring to and kept trying to find it on my I-Phone, but got frustrated when I couldn’t locate it and in a mildly irritated voice said, “Do you really need an answer right this minute?”….  She flipped right out!!!

Sobbing uncontrollably she accused me of “snapping” at her!  I explained that if I should decide to snap at her there won’t be any question about it….she’d clearly know.  Still sobbing, she left the restaurant in a huff while I waited for the bill.  The patrons in the immediate area were quietly amused at my difficulty. When I got to the car she was still crying….now with the accompanying involuntary convulsing associated with sobbing.  Give me an F-ing break!

I dropped her off without another word said.

A few days earlier she broke the news that she was Bi-Polar.  This was formerly referred to as ‘Manic-Depressive.’ Not wanting to lose her I made up my mind to try and work with her mood swings and addiction to Ambien and other pharmaceuticals.  That single incident painted the harsh reality of living with someone with this condition.  There’s no way to win or anything you can do to mitigate it so I chose to walk away now.

Again the option of doing things the hard way presented itself and I accepted the challenge.  But I ask your indulgence given the sex was fabulous.  That said, it’s clear to me that my late friend was absolutely right!