Good Morning Harbingers of Death,
First of all please accept my apologies for being a slothful keeper of this our humble forum. As a few of you know (and they know who they are) I’ve been on vacation from my real job. To a casual observer it had to be interesting to observe how I managed my time. Typically during a period of vacation most of us will arrange for places to go and things to accomplish with meticulous scheduling. My sixteen days were hardly a model of efficiency!
A number of things were revealed to me during my hiatus and thought I’d share it with the two or three of you reading this pernicious gas…
To lay a bit of background it’s important to know that much of my time over the last four months has been focused on designing and building unique “Pot Pipes” to sell. I euphemistically refer to this as “Zuki’s retirement supplement plan.” My goal during the 16 days was to complete 10 pipes that have different faces but essentially the same architecture. I managed to accomplish this but took until the very last day!
Without having to report to work it didn’t take long to slip into questionable patterns of behavior. Lounging around in my underwear drinking coffee, checking email, browsing the Internet as well as smoke the occasional ‘bowl’, I had the television ‘on’ as background for all of it. Instead of hitting the street running, I laid about my apartment totally indifferent about what I was going to do—oblivious to what I had committed to do the day before.
It was while in this fog I discovered “Rachael,” ‘The Price is Right,’ and “Maury.” I remember Rachael Ray from her ‘30 minute meals’ days. Her studio audience is mostly women and I suspect most of them see Rachael as some sort of ‘Every Woman’ and long to be just like this chubby impish little woman.
The sixteen days also gave me some insight as to how my days would be spent should I retire. I say retirement, but to survive beyond a monthly social security check I’ll have to be working on something! This fact will no doubt extend my life. If I had actually been able to save money and/or cash in on my stock options I’d not have to do anything but enjoy the remainder of my days on this rock. Had it happened the way I’d planned it’s certain I would have drank myself to death!
The odds are still good for cirrhosis of the liver being my ‘cause of death,’ but won’t have as much time to drink given the effort necessary to survive my ‘Golden Years.’ This of course factored into today’s report as I still couldn’t stay out of Blondie’s which as of today is under new ownership.
My days are truly numbered.