MYSTIC POWERS & ASTROLOGICAL BOWEL MOVEMENT…..zuki steps in pile of it

 "she sees what's wrong with you and not her."
“she sees what’s wrong with you and not her.”

Good Morning Children of the Moon,

Regarding astrology: An obstetrician or a maternity nurse who weighs between 100 and 200 pounds actually exerts a greater gravitational force on a baby at the time of its birth than do any of the distant planets that are said to influence a person’s personality and destiny. Why aren’t these bulky, proximate objects factored into the astrological charts that are so carefully laid out? – George Carlin

Have we collectively become a population of idiots and morons?  Movie stars and celebrities are looked to for wisdom and guidance as if somehow they had answers to life’s rich pageant.  When you’ve got more money than most of can even comprehend it’s easy to be wise, even eccentric.  Others are just plain lost, destined to wander their entire lives in a quest for truth and light.

It seems there’s a DNA segment that causes us humans to ponder and search for personal meaning in our lives. I’m not saying I don’t share this curiosity, but there’s too much zealotry and bombast and not enough common sense when it comes to sharing one’s point of view.

I had just finished dinner with my daughter and grandson and wanted a nightcap, so instead of Blondie’s I wound up at the newly opened “Bout Time” and no doubt over-indulged.  However given the nearly straight shot to my place, I stayed longer than I should have.  I was curious because the bar has electronic trivia reminiscent of our glory days at our beloved Dewey’s…..so I began to play.

I met Brenda a matronly but affable woman seated next to me also playing trivia.  She seemed to enjoy my particular brand of shtick and immediately hit it off.  After the initial small talk and well into the night, Brenda felt compelled to point out her astrological chart indicated she’d meet a person with great potential for love.  Evidently she perceived me to be that person.

She began to drone on and on about how she needed to do a “chart” on me to further establish our destiny.  This seemed to go on for another hour until I was completely annoyed.

I stopped her abruptly and had to remind her of the origins of this quasi-mystic art. I emphatically explained the “Chaldaeans and the Assyrians were the first to discard their heavenly based gods in favor of a non-deistic system of divination founded upon astronomy and numerology.”  How convenient!

She looked as though I’d just kicked her dog and folded her arms clearly indicating I wouldn’t be getting into her lockbox anytime soon. With nothing further to lose, I also pointed out that the same bloodthirsty assholes flying into our buildings, beheading innocents, and killing indiscriminately are descendants of these wise originators of interplanetary dogma, and asked her “Doesn’t that say something about ‘’astrology?”

Speechless with mouth agape, Brenda got up and threw the remainder of her drink into my face! Other than the embarrassment, I was grateful she was drinking Vodka-Tonic.  I cleaned my glasses, blotted myself up the best I could, and walked out the door to begin the straight shot home.

Feeling just a bit smug I walked to my car to discover someone had key’d my car!  So much for alignment, I hope Brenda burns in Cosmic Hell for this. Jeez.

zuki

  • zuki

    Love the dress! Given the place has only been open for two weeks that’s quite a review….Oh and by the way the tiara looks like the one you wore at your B-day party….

    • bagwan1

      That is a good review for a place that just opened. I know Blondie’s could survive losing you, but if Cush and JJ follow you over to Bout Time that could put Blondie’s out of business.
      This could be a whole new phase for Curmudgeon Corner.

      • zuki

        Given Cush rarely buys his own drinks, and JJ subsidizes my drinking to a large degree, Blondie’s needn’t worry as long as Gee Gadbwaugh is willing to wheelbarrow JJ across the street and take off his shoes…

  • bagwan1

    I just found this review of Bout Time on Yelp. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

    “This place is the anti-gay bar gay bar. Not that that’s a bad thing. NOoo! It’s just vastly different from the gay barz downtown. My bff is gay and has been going to Rain and OCH for years and I hag along. He knows all the bartenders and gets free drinks which also spills over to me. It’s a beautiful thing. But these bars are all about struttin, sashayin, flirtin, buyin coke, and checkin your reflection in your dance partners eyes to see how good you look raving on the disco light dance floor. Not that that’s a bad thing either. I always have a good time at these bars and get lots of attention with my smile and winning personality (oh and my boobs. gay boys love boobs).

    Anyhoo, bff and I tried Bout Time a little while ago cause we were in that neck of the hood on a Sun evening. Bout Time is where the queens in jeans go to let they hair down so to speak. They dress and act like they are just hangin at their straight cousins house. It’s really awesome to see people in this environment. People just being their natural transgendered selves.

    And the bartenders are super sweet. When we went , the hot one was sposedly straight but he was workin that gay boy tip, grindin on his fellow bartender and shakin his money maker (btw at what point do you cross that line as a “straight man” and say to yourself “I loves me some women but I’ll sure make out with dudes for big tips.” Either really dedicated to the job or, hello, closet bi!).”