THE PLAN……zuki endorses ending terrorism now

9-11-attacksGood Morning Synthetic Appendages,

Shortly after being beaten senseless by Catholic Monks for his disparaging remarks toward St. Benedict, the noted Mathematician Blaise Pascal was overheard by the attending nurses telling his Doctor, “Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction.”

As we remember 9/11 and the senseless killing of some 3,000 innocent people toppling the World Trade Center twin towers, it’s important to remember the payback goes on.  I don’t know about you, but having to witness the continuous blood-thirsty zealotry of these cold-blooded Islamic murderers has actually caused me to consider a bold plan for ending this moronic jihad.

What should scare everyone is this extreme idea was first delivered to me from our beloved associate Dv’ant.  For the two or three of you reading this bunkum you may not be able to put this in proper context if you’ve never been on the receiving end of one of his now infamous drunken tirades.  So you’ll just have to trust me.  The bombastic plan may be the only solution.

Most reasonable people would dismiss the plan as nonsense.  My friends he’s not kidding around and fully believes it to be the only way to end the continuous bloodletting in the name of Allah.  I now consider the plan to be our number one option.  Sure innocent and not-so-innocent women and children would be sacrificed, but in my mind though, these so called “innocent” women are little more than “Terrorist” factories. The problem with conventional tactics and politically correct well-wishers is we’ll never out pace their birthrate!

These “innocent” children are being taught from birth to hate western cultures; all of which are ensconced in capitalism.  They would kill us all as infidels unworthy of air rather than allow our continued hedonistic sojourn.  These “innocent” children grow up to strap on high explosives believing they’ll be rewarded with 72 virgins and martyrdom!  What really blows me away though, is this suicide is supported even encouraged by their fucking parents!!!  These little bastards have no chance other than to go along with it.

Something has to be done about  this, because I’m tired of having to buy toothpaste, deodorant, and hair gel every time I fly out on business. It’s damned inconvenient!

The plan is quite simple and actually has precedence.  There are two stages to the plan:  First, there is a period of warning.  Just as we did in Hiroshima, leaflets are dropped warning them to cease all terrorist activities and report to an encampment somewhere in the desert where they’ll be disarmed and interrogated. This allows us to determine whether they’re allowed to live or be executed.  We flood the internet with pop up ads that deliver this message. Satellite TV carries the communiqué into all of Arabdom giving them fair warning which of course they don’t deserve.

But after all, we’re largely a benevolent culture and will always respect life and free will and IS the primary difference between us and the terrorists pining for our collective deaths. The second part of the plan is to unleash enough nuclear warheads to utterly destroy every Islamist stronghold known and then some. I’ll not abide one more U.S. casualty!  Who’ll stop us?  At this point in time we ARE the 800 lb Gorilla!

I know this sounds a bit harsh, but honestly when will the madness ever end? Can you sit in your Lazy-Boy and make yourself believe the jihad will cease or pretend we’re insulated from all this believing someday they’ll learn to love us?  Honestly do you really see that ever happening?  Their continued bullshit is a steady erosion of our way of life.

God forbid we profile people of Arab decent at airports!  Christ every time we’re attacked it’s by some would be martyr who just happens to be an Arab Islamist with an attitude….hummmmm.  Yet with all my travel since 9/11 I continue to marvel every time security shakes down an old white woman in the name of political correctness.



  • zuki

    Yeah right…3P’s corporal gullible…”bringing in the sheep….bringing in the sheep”.

  • zuki

    Guess what? Hiroshima never had any oil…Japan imports nearly all it’s petroleum based energy needs.

    Japan is the world’s largest liquefied natural gas importer, second largest coal importer, and third largest net oil importer. EIA

    • bagwan1

      I have spoken with Joe and after reading this comment he has agreed that he can no longer hang on to the title of Captain Obvious and he is also ceding to you Lieutenant Literal.

      In the words of Gomer Pyle: “Shazam!”, “Gawwww-leeeee”, “Sur-prise, sur-prise, sur-prise!”,

  • zuki

    It’s clear your private conversations while giving Father O’Leary sponge baths wasn’t centered around geophysics. Besides mimes were a dime a dozen at Chico State

    • bagwan1

      I guess you have never heard of the 3 P’s necessary for a successful oil well. Those would be pressure, porosity and permeability. While I have no direct knowledge of the effect that a nuclear blast would have on the 3 P’s, I can tell you that to this day Hiroshima still imports all of its oil.

  • zuki

    Not so fast whippersnapper! Sure an attack of that magnitude would indeed wipe out the refineries and off load facilities (small price to pay) but the oil reserves would still be underground or the sea floors; ready when civilized folks are ready to extract it. So professor take your blubber and give yourself a swirly!

    • bagwan1

      Based on this theory of yours I think it is safe to say that they didn’t offer geology classes at Cal State Chico.
      They also obviously did NOT subscribe to the UNCF slogan, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
      In fact I heard that the Chico slogan was, “A mime is a terrible thing to waste.”

  • bagwan1

    I see one teeny tiny problem with this well-thought out, level-headed solution. In the process of carrying this out we would destroy something like 80% of the world’s oil and gas reserves.
    Maybe we should just add one more preliminary step of restocking our whale oil inventories.
    After reading this I hope each of you is asking yourself the question: What can I do to help stamp out mental illness?