BAGWAN EXPLORES ‘FRIENDSHIP’….baggy down to one friend…he thinks

JJ & Bagwan reconcile

This idea of having friends or even best friends is an interesting concept. For one thing it says that everyone who you don’t label as a friend is something else. Not necessarily an enemy, but certainly not a friend. Then to get all the way up to a best friend implies a ranking system. I have had friends drop down the ranks for various reasons. I think the three most common reasons have something to do with money or a woman and of course, death.  I should point out that whatever I say only relates to male friends. More precisely, I mean friends of males who could be of any of the various other genders. What I don’t feel qualified to address would be the issue of who women think of as their friends.

I told you that I have been working on my feminine side, but I am still coming up a little short on understanding the whole woman to woman friendship thing. I know it has something to do with agreeing all the time and complimenting each other on their clothes. I think it also has something to do with walking away and quietly saying something like, “Can you believe what she was wearing?”

Men love to disagree with their friends. What could be a greater show of friendship than rubbing your friend’s nose in his favorite team’s loss in overtime? Tell me something more fun than watching your friend miss a putt on 18 with four different bets on? I remember that I never felt like I was bonding on the golf course with my buddy Rodney until I made a putt which caused him to call me a “ rotten cocksucker.” These are the ties that bind.

Well, with the recent dust up involving Zuki and JJ, I felt it was important to explore the meaning of “friend.” I think it is also time for me to come clean. A couple of years ago when JJ went stomping out of the Dam Grill and Tap Room, I got worried. I had been around JJ for a long time and I know his surliness does not attract companions. Zuki was out of work at the time and needed pin money so I offered to pay him to drink with JJ. That was going great until this recent attack on propriety by JJ. Now Zuki wants me to double the monthly stipend and even then he is not going to guarantee his is going to be nice.

First off, I don’t have that kind of money. Plus I am getting the feeling that JJ doesn’t enjoy the company. I am not even sure that this is a proper relationship. It is starting to remind me of what they call in high society a “walker.” The walker is a younger attractive man who is there to escort the older wealthy lady to social functions. The more I think about this, the more I think it just needs to end.

I apologize for seeming to make fun of friendship because the truth is there is nothing I value more. There are lots of quotes out there about friendship but my personal favorite is:

“A friend will help you move, a good friend will help you move a body.”


  • zuki

    festered one! It’s good of you to drop by, I haven’t heard a plagiaristic comment since the last time you visited. Honestly you add an extra layer of bullshit to this our humble forum. Much obliged!

  • festeringboil

    I couldn’t resist this one. Nice change of pace from Zuki’s drivel but if
    staying on topic means anything then Zuki is an insincere
    and evil friend more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound
    your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.

    • Bagwan

      Uncle Fester, you may have something here and I think poor JJ’s wounded mind might be Exhibit A.

  • Just JOE

    OK, Sir Bagged ONE. I’ll remit yer Friend Fees, albeit belated
    You’ve been quite patient, but I want MOI account re-instated!
    ZUKI’s still on MOI Dole
    Would you like that same role?
    But caveat emptor!… the value of MOI friendship is vastly over-rated!

  • zuki

    I believe it goes something like this: “With friends like you who needs enemies?”

    Having friends, and I mean the kind of friends that “WILL help you move the body” is wrought with pitfalls. When it’s not birthdays, obscure anniversaries, awkward moments, and trash talking then it’s constant whining and complaining! I’m almost certain Tammy has no friends and the Bagwan was overheard talking to his ‘blow up’ friend ‘Milicent’ but that shouldn’t count right? You want friends? Try having Cush as a friend and see how that works out for you. Just sayin…

    • Bagwan

      Who pays you to drink with Cush?