Good Morning Choke-Down Strokers,

I had the pleasure of a golf outing last Sunday accompanied by my sons and Number one son’s girlfriend.  As often happens, the late afternoon tee time presented hot temperatures. But half way through, it clouded up and cooled everything down making the whole experience even better.  I couldn’t have been happier. But like most of my experiences though, it didn’t take long to tarnish my belated Father’s Day gift.  For the two or three of you reading this hack & slash, golf courses have multi-colored tee markers that are supposed to correspond with the golfer’s ability.  Black – sometimes referred to as “playing from the tips” are for scratch (even par) or better golfers.  Gold tees are for solid players (10 handicaps or lower) that generally play well.  The “Blue Tees” are for players that can manage to shoot ‘Bogie Golf’ (average one over par each hole).  White Tees are for players of my caliber that struggle to break 100.  The ‘Red Tees’ are typically for women golfers.  Each colored tee box represents a lesser yardage (starting with Black) than the previous marker matching a golfer’s ability with a comparable distance to manage.  The idea being if everyone plays from the tee box associated with one’s true ability then theoretically all players in a group have an equal chance to win the hole.

We finally caught up with the group in front of us who chose to play from the “Blue Tees.”  After watching their play for a couple of holes it became painfully clear only one of them deserved to be there, while the other three had seriously deluded themselves.  One idiot should have been shooting from the red tees, but I understand; the ridicule would have been emasculating.  At the number 8 hole, a short par 3 that requires you to shoot over water with the green guarded by six sand traps, I witnessed the perfect example of golf futility.  The little stodgy fellow hit two balls in the water, and then managed to fly the water but landed in the bottom trap.  After three failed attempts to escape, his frustration level went off the charts as he flailed wildly in the sand hitting the ball sideways directly into his ankle!  We all began laughing…almost to hysterics! The rest of his group had already finished; hands on their hips watching the train wreck before them.  I euphemistically refer to this type of individual, and they’re many of them on a golf course, as “Blue Tee Guys.”  These people because of pride, stupidity, or simply exist in a self delusional fog, purposely forego an advantage available to them and make it tougher on themselves and everyone around them.

“Blue Tee Guys” are not limited to a golf course either. You’ve seen them, I know you have!  Take work for example, there’s always someone at work who thinks their fecal matter doesn’t stink. Even though assigned to teams they insist on working alone thinking he/she is perfectly capable of putting together an important section of a presentation with little to no feedback until ‘D-Day.’  In the pre-game huddle to go over the game plan, the ‘Blue Tee’ person unveils their work to the utter shock and amazement of the rest of the team.  It stinks far beyond bad!  It missed the mark by a mile making the entire team look incompetent!  This one individual’s work and unwillingness to grasp their true abilities cost the team not only the deal, but brought everyone else down with them.  There’s a special place in hell for these maroons!

I’m sure “Blue Tee” people are embedded in all walks of life and to be avoided at all cost,  But by ‘Blue Tee’s very nature these nitwits are rarely discovered until it’s too late.

If you feel you’re a “Blue Tee Guy,” please do everyone a favor and acknowledge your abilities or lack thereof.  And for God’s sake take advantage of opportunities that would help you.  Jeez..


  • Bagwan

    I think this whole post is just Zuki venting about a failed project at work. Here is what he says:
    ” It stinks far beyond bad! It missed the mark by a mile making the entire team look incompetent! This one individual’s work and unwillingness to grasp their true abilities cost the team not only the deal, but brought everyone else down with them.”
    We will just have to accept that Zuki has correctly identified the culprit and that once again he is just an innocent victim.

    What I don’t understand is why this failure at work has resulted in an attack on guys who play from the blue tees. I would guess that the vast majority of golfers who play from the blue tees, belong there. Golf is torture enough without needlessly adding to the length of the course. Zuki may well be worried about the length of something else other than the course — if you know what I mean.