SOMEBODY CALL THE POLICE!….zuki scans for options

Good Morning Law Abiding Citizens,

One of my associates at work is an avid police groupie for lack of a better term, and actually has a police scanner that monitors local police bands.  I’m not sure what the fascination is, so I assume it’s to feel closer to his would be protectors.  I overheard him talking about using his scanner nightly which made me feel better about my life or lack thereof.  I asked him if there was a chance I could borrow it for one evening to see what it’s all about.  He agreed, but insisted repeatedly I return it the next morning.  He’s obviously developed an odd relationship with the scanner and should have days of fun ‘forgetting’ to return it.  He showed me how to use it, and the various frequencies assigned to local police departments and seemed pretty straight forward.  Last night I set it up and immediately found the Littlewood Dispatch Center, with calls coming in and out continually so it’s all very exciting.  After 30 minutes I began to understand my associate’s addiction so I jotted down a few notes of the more bizarre or weird calls so I could share it with the two or three of you reading this ‘spruik’ otherwise you wouldn’t believe me!  My God, the truth is better than anything I could make up so here is the gist of the more important calls taken last evening between 8 and 9 PM enjoy:

8:04 – complaint call from female ‘Boat Park’ user about a naked man who had his genitals stuck inside an inflated beach ball jumping from behind bushes asking passing females if they wanted to “play ball”  Officers sent.  Man was arrested for “indecent exposure” but was taken to the ‘cotton box’ for observation.

8:15 – call received from Tipsy’s Liquor Warehouse Manager says a homeless looking man is harassing customers as they approach the store entrance.  Homeless man is asking for money then verbally accosting them should they refuse.  Officers sent.

8:22 – Little girl dials 911 crying and upset that her father is sick and unresponsive.  Officers sent.  15 minutes later officer called dispatch indicating girls father was drunk and had passed out.  Social Services was called to remove little girl and father charged with endangerment of a child.

8:29 – obviously drunk woman calls in to complain about a dog that won’t stop barking.  Animal Control was dispatched to assess complaint.  8:45 PM  AC called to notify dispatch to drop complaint as the barking dog belonged to the caller.

8:35 – domestic dispute call from man claiming his wife had set his clothes and golf clubs ablaze and is holding him at bay with a 9 mm Glock  Officers sent.

8:46 – road-rage incident Inca & Floyd (near Blondies) involving yellow Buick and silver Jeep SUV witness says tire iron being used on an ‘old dude.’  Officers sent.

8:49 – 911 call from woman who had caught her hair in her garbage disposal and unable to extricate herself, fire department was notified.

8:56 – Urgent complaint call from Quizno’s about a man urinating in the trash can inside the shop refusing to zip up leaving genitals exposed claiming it as “meat” for patron’s sandwiches.  Officers sent.

There were more calls in the hour but many were simply routine traffic stops and found them unworthy of this posting.  That said this experience has reinforced my appreciation of law enforcement’s tremendous restraint when it comes to dealing with idiots and morons.  Less tolerant individuals such as JJ and the Bagwan would have a very brief career as a police officer due largely to questionable shooting incidents leaving suspects lying wounded bleeding on the ground.  To get that many calls involving stupidity and/or violence within one hour is quite revealing. Not only about the community I live in, but the cops charged with enforcing its laws as well.

While I’ve had my own run ins with the law most of which were deserved, and most of my adult working life spent in the law enforcement market, these men and women that strive to make it a career should be recognized and most are deserving of our support.  Cop’s addiction to donuts is simply a myth.


  • Just JOE

    ZUKI’s ear is glued to a Police dispatch scanner
    He duly notes all the weird calls in his planner
    Does he right any wrong
    By passing them along?
    Just sit aback and enjoy ALL “elk” (sic) and manner!

  • zuki

    Well…well…well…fez & accounts receivable think I’m bored and Bagster expects a metal detection wand is next!  I’m disappointed at your lack of faith.  Not missing the point entirely though, I did secure a set of handcuffs!  Just sayin….

    • Bagwan

      Zuki’s metal detector league is meeting over at the Cherry Creek Reservoir for a pot luck dinner this Memorial Day Weekend. All are welcome, but so far they are only missing a tuna casserole and baked beans. Zuki always likes a little bubbling brown sugar on his baked beans.

  • fez

    As the unofficial spokesperson for accounts receivable I have to tell you Zuki we’re worried. I’ve gone back into the archives when most of your posts were about being on the road and all that entails. The consensus here is the police scanner is a desperate cry for help. I know you haven’t been to Chicago, or much anywhere else recently, and can’t help but think you’re bored to tears. Buck up man!

    • Bagwan

      fez, I think you are right — a metal detecting club can’t be too far off.

  • Bagwan

    More police calls:

    Police in Lakewood this morning are wrangling a couple of stray cows that
    got loose from a nearby pasture.
    The animals, penned in the area of South Harlan Street and West Exposition
    Avenue, made their way east to South Knox Court and West Alaska Place, according
    to Lakewood police.
    The beasts’ owner is with police and attempts are under way to contain the
    pair and herd them back to pasture.
    couple of cows are wandering loose in Lakewood this morning – The Denver
    Read The Denver Post’s Terms of Use of its content:

    • zuki

      Holy Shit!  Just last night Cush was lamenting the loss of his “loved ones”….hummmmm

      • Bagwan

        I think “Holy Cow” would have been the proper exclamation but in any case the cows are back in custody and probably will arrive at Steakhouse 10 sometime soon.

        Changing gears, given our recent morbid curiousity about the death of rock stars near our age, I just came across some good news:

        Allman is getting married for the seventh time.
        The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame member has told several interviewers this week
        that he’s engaged to his 24-year-old girlfriend, Shannon Williams, and Allman’s
        publicist and manager confirmed the news Friday morning.
        Allman talked about the unexpected love he felt for Williams in an interview
        with The Associated Press earlier this year for a story about his memoir, “My
        Cross to Bear,” but admitted he was leery about taking the relationship further
        because of his past difficulties in his love life. But Allman told Howard Stern,
        Piers Morgan and a SiriusXM town hall audience this week that he’s taken the
        relationship to the next stage.
        Little is known about Williams, who entered the 64-year-old rock pioneer’s
        life after a liver transplant and a run of health difficulties. Allman told the
        AP in a love-struck voice he met her while in Florida on Friday, Jan. 13, and “I
        am totally in love.”
        Allman’s failed marriages make up a significant part of “My Cross to Bear,” a
        best-seller after its release May 1. He offers a rare glimpse into his private
        life, detailing the rise and collapse of his relationship with Cher, among other
        topics. It’s clear his failed relationships haunt him. He told the AP he has a
        distrust of the institution of marriage and has been left with the feeling that
        few, if any, of his wives were actually deeply in love with him.
        No date has been set for the marriage. Read more: Gregg
        Allman engaged to 24-year-old girlfriend – The Denver Post
        Read The Denver Post’s Terms of Use of its content: