WALMART LOOMS LARGE….zuki proposes new ‘study’

Good Morning Ancient Ones,

“There’s a disturbance in the universe” and fear what if anything can be done about it.  What’s left of my tour of duty needs to be spent exploring the creative level of Maslow’s pyramid, but perhaps that ship has sailed.  Never-the-less one must put themselves in a position of existence without fear of failure and often times that takes money. 

I have been working on and have assembled a proto-type of a cremation urn done in the “Marzuki’s House of Bricks” style.  I was encouraged by a website that featured an Italian Interior Design company that produces the urns as ‘art’ selling one of a kind work to upscale relatives of dead people for around $2,500 per.  While there’s no guarantee that urns made of ceramic bricks with glazed images of the dear departed featured prominently will sell, but I intend to find out. Every time I walk into a Walmart I’m depressed at the numbers of ‘old’ people that toil there and remind myself I’m two paychecks away from being a ‘greeter.’

I wonder at what point that a 70 year old dude working in Walmart realized his fate.  I would suggest to the two or three of you reading this eudemonic flem that at that exact moment in time he experienced a deep and dark depression never felt before.  I’m also sure suicide loomed large as an option.  Having said that though there must be other reasons that the elderly chooses to work because there’s a 73 year old woman that works at my company who five years ago was left a small fortune by her late husband but would rather work than be ‘retired.’ I think we’ve all heard those stories about people dying within days after retiring or losing a spouse.  What is it about working that when one stops they lose the will to live?  I for one would like to personally test this but will need a research sponsor.  I’m willing to suffer the consequences once I stop working and drop out of the corporate grind and will happily accept my destiny.  I’ll be accepting section 501 (c)(3) tax deductible donations, so make sure to get your check to me before April 15th.

If I manage to survive for 12 months then I can resume my art without fear of dying from acute depression.  I think it’s a worthwhile study don’t you?


  • Just JOE

    The thing that REALLY irks ZUKI about these poor greeters is that they can’t afford his lit-tle $2500 urns!

    Cremate MOI, cremate MOI very much.

  • Bagwan

    I think you have it all wrong about the Walmart greeters. It was not a matter of accepting their fate and it wasn’t accompanied by a deep dark depression. These are friendly people by nature, who just enjoy meeting and helping others. This is not a capitulation for them but rather an opportunity to get paid for doing something they love.
    Not to worry, there are also career opportunities for misanthropic senior citizens like yourself — I would suggest night security guard. You would look good in the uniform and they may even give you a German Shepherd as a companion.

  • zuki

    Once again through idle research the Bagged One has made my point precisely…God bless him

  • Bagwan

    I remember you mentioned Maslow once before and I meant to look him up but I guess I never did. Well today I immediately went to the world wide web and found that Maslow’s theories would have no application to you based on the following:
    “Maslow studied what he called exemplary people such as Albert Einstein, Jane Addams, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Frederick Douglass rather than mentally ill or neurotic people, writing that “the study of crippled, stunted, immature, and unhealthy specimens can yield only a cripple psychology and a cripple philosophy.”