SINGING NAKED TAKES BALLS…..zuki offers mentoring

Good Morning Accapellians,

While most of us will sing in the shower very few would sing to a crowd.  Although if you listen carefully the Bagged One can be heard utilizing his world famous falsetto but unfortunately he has yet to reach the right key or pitch.  The PSA below is intended to point out the dangers of singing naked.  Don’t try this at home and please consult a professional to avoid pitfalls.  “Zuki Promotions” will guide our female guests through naked Accapella with minimal money upfront.  Please practice safe perusal.

THE MANAGEMENT   

Compelling Explanations

— In December, music teacher Kevin Gausepohl, 37, was charged in Tacoma, Wash., Municipal Court with communicating with a minor for immoral purposes, allegedly convincing a 17-year-old female student that she could sing better if she tried it naked. Gausepohl later told an investigator of his excitement about experimenting at the “human participant level” to determine how sexual arousal affects vocal range. The girl complied with “some of” Gausepohl’s requests, but finally balked and turned him in. [The News Tribune (Tacoma), 12-29-2011]

  • zuki

    Dv’ant thanks so much for your kind offer to help. But given the Bagster’s masochistic predisposition, your kind gifts would only be a distraction and prevent him from an optimal performance.

  • DV ANT

    wow this is the most exciting news since Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to Death I do have a pair of vice grips and a cattle prod to help Bagwan really hit thise high notes.

  • fez

    We at accounts receivable are truly looking forward to this.  Our collective cubicles are all abuzz

  • zuki

    Jeez that’s a visual I could do without! 

    Regarding fez’s most excellent suggestion to video the Bagman doing “Stayin Alive” in full falsetto mode, I’ve arranged for this to happen.  His only stipulation is he’s to be video’d in such a manner as to hide his identity.  Everyone must have the faith the performer is indeed the Bagwan.  Hopefully I’ll have this done over the weekend.  Stay tuned.

    • Bagwan

      Needless to say, I am very nervous but they may well help me hit the high notes.
      As we speak, Mrs Bagwan is letting out the waist just a touch on my old disco pants.

  • Just PLAIN WRONG

    MOI comments are ALWAYS better when I’m naked!

    Ogle MOI, ogle MOI very much.

  • zuki

    Well well well…fez has finally contributed!  Since the infamous ‘ghost move’ we’re not heard much from you other than be the spokesperson for accounts receivable.  This is an excellent idea!  And I’m glad to hear the Bagster thinks he does ‘Stayin Alive’ so well because I intend to give him the opportunity to prove it.  Don’t get your hopes up because the Bagwan rarely comes down from his lofted state to mingle with the unwashed.  I’ll keep you posted.

  • fez

    Hello from accounts receivable!  We discussed this amongst ourselves and think we have a solution to Bagwan’s claim of almost hitting the notes in falsetto.  Have Zuki video Bagwan doing his falsetto to stayin alive as there’s plenty of opportunity to hit the correct note. Then post it as the long overdue replacement to ‘Levi is shot’  We look forward to a reply.

    • Bagwan

      fez, Zuki is going to think this is a setup since he knows how strong I am on “Stayin Alive.”

  • Bagwan

    I don’t think it is fair to say that I have never hit the right key when doing my drunken falsetto. There are a couple of Bee Gees songs where I was darn close.