LEAP YEAR RAISES IT’S UGLY HEAD….zuki has a car towed

Good Morning Adamantine Weasels, 

As the final weekend in February has come and gone, I think it important to remember there’s an extra day this month.  Normally I wouldn’t give it a thought, but lately and I tend to do this during periods of illness, I calculate or estimate is a better word, how much time I’ve squandered in my lifetime.  For example, since my divorce some 13 rotations ago I figure I’ve averaged 3 hours per day 360 days per rotation, or 1,080 hours the equivalent of (45) 24 hour days per rotation equaling 585 such days for all rotations in total.  Staggeringly this works out to 1.6 years of sitting on a bar stool drinking heavily.  I suppose one could easily come up with an average dollar amount spent per day and throw salt on the wound, but damn it things are tough enough!

But before you sharpen your lampoons let’s keep in mind many good things happen while ‘holding court’ at the neighborhood bar.  That’s right, not every single hour is wasted, and certainly a small percentage can be claimed either for humanitarian gestures, building a relationship, or even hatching ideas of potential.  On several occasions while lost in a drunken stupor solutions or improvements to complex issues at work and/or my personal life such as it is were manifested. One must agree this is not time wasted!

If I dwell on this slothfulness it makes me physically ill.  Then I make vows to schedule life’s rich pageant in such a way as to be more productive and utilize what’s left in my hourglass in a constructive manner.  On paper it looks reasonable even executable, but to put this into action is another story all together! Once again I find myself at this familiar crossroad looking for backbone.  I’ve already postponed implementation two weeks in a row now, and very much conflicted about it.  Renting studio space was supposed to lessen my time on a bar stool, but in fact, I’ve managed to work both the studio and the bar in without missing a day.  However, whenever my studio time is productive the guilt is alleviated, at least long enough to sleep. This mind set reminded me of an old joke Poo told me years ago. 

“There was an old man that rode a bus for years rarely missing a day.  This man would sit with his nose in a worn ‘Bible’ carefully pouring over it’s pages intently with real purpose.  This went on for years until finally it piqued the curiosity of a young man who with some trepidation approached the old man and asked, “Excuse me sir, I realize you must be a very spiritual man, but I need to ask; what is it you are looking for?  The old man looked up staring over his glasses and casually said, “Loopholes.”  

I suppose everyone contemplates this from time to time, but most are able to put it in perspective.  How many working hours are productive? Travel time?  Watching TV? All these activities drain the sand, but in fact they also keep us well rounded and able to deal with our misadventures without a meltdown.  If we had to account for every waking minute, I fully believe we’d see three-times the number of people that go ‘postal’ taking out innocent bystanders before eating a bullet.  So the next time you feel guilty from selfish activities like drinking, eating, doodling, or simply doing “The Couch Potato” think about the number of lives you’ve saved!

zuki

  • zuki

    fez, it’s just a gift.  However, I was told the phrase should have been hyphenated.  This person has way too much time on their hands.  But on another note:

    Not to change the subject, but have you heard?  Like the movie “Contagion” scientists have discovered a flu strain within a Guatemalan Bat’s intestinal track ‘Sturnira Lilium.’  Birds, Pigs, Horses, now a Bat?  C’mon….  I explain this to people that are shocked I don’t get a flu shot.  But every year after the flu season subsides there’s always an announcement from the CDC saying the strain of flu was misdiagnosed and millions were inoculated with a worthless strain of flu.  EVERY TIME!!  Just sayin…

     http://gawker.com/5889065/there-is-a-bat-flu-and-were-all-gonna-die-gwyneth-paltrow-likely-first

  • fez

    Ha! an honest to Betsy hoofer!  Where do you come up with this stuff?  We in accounts receivable look forward to the dancing JJ video

  • Bagwan

    Zuki just showed me a video of the dancing event. Given JJ’s lack of mobility (not to mention rhythm) the video and the stills are almost identical.

  • zuki

    Fred Astaire? Oh grasshopper you may have already forgotten I was there at ‘Blondie’s Dime a Dance Ballroom’ and didn’t have to speculate from stills to assess your terpsichorial skills. Nevertheless if plodding counts you stole the show! I was a bit surprised though when the blind guy shoved his way past you and Matilda, you both looked as though you had lost your place! It was a shame Matilda had to cut it short as you staggered back to your bar stool gasping for air. For those of you that have not had the ‘pleasure’ of meeting an honest to Betsy ‘Hoofer’ like our own JJ, I hope to have a power point w/music posted sometime soon.

  • Just Plain WRONG

    Had to get Statements out… Kinda bifurcated MOI day.

    Today… New day… No snow!… 40’s temps for MOI Auction… AND… NEW BLUE BOOKS TO SELL!!!

    Revenue MOI, revenue MOI very much.

  • Just Plain WRONG

    We have something much better in Littlewood: Fred Astaire!
    Right here across the fountain/Christmas tree from BLONDIE’s where I moonlight as “Instructor/Associate” or is that “Associate Instructor”?… I must consult MOI non-compete agreement.

    Anyway, I appreciate yer guys support.. I honestly, truly, sincerely do accept your advances… But MOI Littlewood franchise does not honor same-sex groupons… Maybe we “hook up” at our Adams County “store” in Olde Brighton?
    BTW: OMG! NASCAR is state-of-the-art scienc & engineering… But don’t have AUTOMATED track-clean system other than Tide detergent powder (“HE” fer sure) & MANUAL pushbrooms, a single water how, and a platoon of leaf-blowers… WHERE ARE THE F-ING CHOPPERS?!?!?!
    Everyone looked GREAT in color-coordinated jumpers! But functionally ugly!!!
    I’m sorry if this is old news… I’m watching sound-off coverage @ MOI watering hole and I can only hope that talking heads had something relevant during interminal break waiting for last 40 laps!
    This may not end before midnight in FLA!

    Sweep MOI, sweep MOI very much.

    • Bagwan

      Well you have become quite the night owl. I see where the race did not end until 11:00 pm our time. If you were still at Blondie’s for the finish you probably think Secretariat won — he didn’t, it was Seabiscuit.

      Anyway it is your choice on the dance studio, Zuki and I are still good for the bill.

  • Just PLAIN WRONG

    BOGUS!… BAIT & SWITCH!!… BS!!!
    I expectantly read this post based on the tease about “ZUKI has a car towed” in the sub-head… AND… NARY A WORD!

    But now that I have been tricked into reading this… I uncovered some hazy reasoning (Surprise!?) on the part of Our HOST:  ” On several occasions while lost in a drunken stupor solutions or improvements to complex issues at work and/or my personal life such as it is were manifested. One must agree this is not time wasted!”… he neglects one exptremely salient point:  HE WILL LIKELY HAVE “FORGOTTEN” said “manifestations” by the time he awakes the next morning!… just saying…!

    Jog MOI, jog MOI very much.

    • Bagwan

      Senor Zuki just showed me some pictures of you trying to dance at Blondie’s this weekend when they brought in that fat broad who covers the Elvis song “Hunk, a hunk of burning clit” 
      Those are the same moves you used when your took you sister to the prom back in 1965.
      I think the Arthur Murray Studio downtown on 15th St. next to the Ethiopian restaraunt is offering specials for March.
      Zuki and I are willing to split the tab for the first two weeks — what do you have to lose?

  • Bagwan

    Say did I ever tell you about the time I went to New York and saw Peggy Lee perform at the Waldorf? No I am not about to go off on one of my celebrity sighting, name-dropping binges, there is actually a tie-in to Zuki’s offering today.
     It was 1969 and I was administrative assistant (errand boy) to the President of a fairly large company. We were there for business but when he heard that Peggy Lee was in town he insisted that we get a table. As a 21 year old in 1969, I couldn’t think of anything I would less rather do than listen to some pudgy old bat sing songs from yesterday. Boy was I wrong, she was fabulous and the band behind her was the best live music I have heard to this day.

    Okay so now the tie-in — that night she introduced a song which she told us was going to be her next record. The song was called “Is That All There Is” and I thought it was the worst song she sang all night. While I didn’t like the song, the lyrics have haunted me for the rest of my life and it seems to me that they are haunting my friend Zuki today. From the chorus:

    Is that all there is, is that all there isIf that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancingLet’s break out the booze and have a ballIf that’s all there is

    So is Zuki more productive at the studio, at work or in a bar? The correct answer is “none of the above” — Zuki’s greatest contributions come while seated on his Kohler Throne reading the sports section from USA Today.

         It was either JJ or Thoreau who said: “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”