Good Morning Penitent Children,

As you know being a member of the hated media does require the ‘Diatribe’ to contribute to our local community in the form of PSA’s (Public Service Anouncements).  Given our community is literally world wide, I wanted to post a friendly reminder that this Monday February 27th 2012 the Eastern Orthodox Church begins the Great Lint.  Now I know there’s several of you (and you know who you are) that don’t buy into all this and you’re no doubt doomed to hell.  But for the two or three of you reading this piffle I’ve put together a brief synopsis of how it works, simple really:

The Eastern Orthodox Church does not skip over Sundays when calculating the length of the Great Lint. Therefore, the Great Lint always begins on Clean Monday, the seventh Monday before Easter, and ends on Filthy Friday before Rosy Palm Sunday—using of course the eastern date for begetting Ester on Easter. The Linten fast is relaxed on the weekends in honor of the All Thou Can Eat Sabbath (Saturday) and the Wine Resurrection (Sunday). The Great Lint is followed by Saturday and Rosy Palm Sunday, which are feast days, then the Linten fast resumes on Monday of Holy Week after all collected Lint is set ablaze. Technically, in the Eastern Orthodox Church, Holy Week is a separate season from the Great Lint.

I hope this announcement was helpful particularly for those Christians among us looking forward to the Easter ham.

And now you know.