2011 THANKSGIVING THOUGHTS….zuki is thankful for the little things

Good Morning Days of Sciolism,

In my sixty plus rotations I’ve come to realize that ready or not, life’s rich pageant rolls on.  As we approach another Thanksgiving I’m reminded by an old black and white photograph of how quickly it all unfolds.  It’s a picture of me being held as an infant with what appears to be a puzzled look on my face.  My entire life ahead of me, my young parent’s first child and no doubt headlong into their own dreams and aspirations and held like some sort of prize.  Not surprising, things have turned out quite differently than we imagined.  That’s to say everything except that puzzled look affixed to my face!  I suspect it happens to most of us.  But in spite of our ongoing deterioration there’s still much to be grateful for.

I’m thankful for my hair.  Many friends, family, and even co-workers are younger and have a beautiful height to weight ratio love to remind me I’m fat.  Not an overt insult, rather it’s done as raillery, and we all have a good natured laugh at my expense.  I refer to this sort of thing as “Truth in Jest.”  We can get away with anything as long as it’s done with a smile, followed by the jovial, “I’m just kidding!” Having said this, ultimately I have the last laugh.  Several of the more outspoken tormentors are bald as a billiard ball and get bristled when I jokingly point to a crease in their skull and ask if that’s where he buried the hatchet.  Just sayin….

I’m thankful for my new bed.  ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Who knew?

I’m thankful for not being crushed during this month of pain and torture.

I’m thankful for the few teeth left to me.

I’m thankful for fuzzy nipple clamps.

I’m thankful for regular healthy bowel movements.

I’m thankful for those who’ve supported my humble attempts at an art come-back.

I’m ever so thankful for the dreaded four hour erection.

I’m thankful not to be spending this Thanksgiving under the viaduct.

I’m thankful for my microwave oven (Thanks Madcow)

I’m thankful for my children and their unique slants on life’s rich pageant.

Even though “Occupied” I’m thankful to be living in this great land, but let’s lose MADD or at least poison them.

zuki

  • Bagwan

     
     Wasn’t that nice of fez and I would reciprocate in offering all good wishes to the guys and gals in accounts receivable. If this particular firm also has an accounts payable department I would like to include each of them in all this fake good will.
    The only thing we need to worry about right now is the disrespect and lack of concern Zuki has shown our little friend Just Jolly Joe.
    Zuki, please remember what a delicate hot house flower you are dealing with. Taking care of the Alpahbet Anus is not just an honor and a priviledge, it offers you the opportunity to get into the WalMart level of Heaven.

    If there are 7 levels of Heaven in LDS this might be number 8 with  an * . So you still have a chance.

  • fez

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO THE TWO OR THREE OF YOU READING THE DIATRIBE!  We in accounts receivable wish everyone a great holiday

  • zuki

    I had a long heart-felt discussion with JJOOAAPPSS last evening to mitigate what was obviously a misunderstanding.  His rejection of any expression of gratitude toward him personally obviously reeked of “Protesting too much.”  I explained my position for using glittering generalities and how one could if thoughtfully examined, find a handful of ‘thankful for’s’ that would apply.  Holding back a couple of tears, he nodded in agreement.  Gathering his composure, JJOOAAPPSS explained he was in the ‘regular healthy bowel movement’ camp and then retired to the ‘john.’  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

  • zuki

    I had a long heart-felt discussion with JJOOAAPPSS last evening to mitigate what was obviously a misunderstanding.  His rejection of any expression of gratitude toward him personally obviously reeked of “Protesting too much.”  I explained my position for using glittering generalities and how one could if thoughtfully examined, find a handful of ‘thankful for’s’ that would apply.  Holding back a couple of tears, he nodded in agreement.  Gathering his composure, JJOOAAPPSS explained he was in the ‘regular healthy bowel movement’ camp and then retired to the ‘john.’  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

  • zuki

    I had a long heart-felt discussion with JJOOAAPPSS last evening to mitigate what was obviously a misunderstanding.  His rejection of any expression of gratitude toward him personally obviously reeked of “Protesting too much.”  I explained my position for using glittering generalities and how one could if thoughtfully examined, find a handful of ‘thankful for’s’ that would apply.  Holding back a couple of tears, he nodded in agreement.  Gathering his composure, JJOOAAPPSS explained he was in the ‘regular healthy bowel movement’ camp and then retired to the ‘john.’  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

  • Just G&P JJOOAA

    I’m just thankful that I WASN’T mentioned… because there is no f-ing way I want to be associated with the on-going train wreck that is the life of our Host!

    • Bagwan

      See I told you his feelings would be hurt. 

  • zuki

    JJOOAA knows how much I’m grateful for his always kind words and well wishes.  However, I think I left enough room for everyone to find a place to take credit….or not.  Happy Thanksgiving to Tammy and her elk!

  • Bagwan

    I hope there is still time for you to edit this piece before little JJOOAA reads it. I can only imagine how hurt he will be to NOT be mentioned as one of god’s gifts for which you give thanks.
    Come on Man!!