Good Morning Philomaths,
An option for suicide “with elegance and euphoria” is how Lithuanian-born Ph.D. candidate Julijonas Urbonas (London’s Royal College of Art) described his “Euthanasia (Roller) Coaster,” currently on the drawing board. Urbonas’ model of “gravitational aesthetics” would be a third-mile-long, 1,600-foot-high thrill ride engineered to supply 10 Gs of centrifugal force (a spin at about 220 mph) to induce cerebral hypoxia, forcing blood away from the head and denying oxygen to the brain. Euphoria (and disorientation and anxiety, but not pain) are likely states to precede the brain’s shutdown. Urbonas insisted that users would have the option through the first two minutes of the three-minute ride to rethink their decision and bail out (or else to push the final “FALL” button). (Suicide is legal in four European countries and Oregon and Washington.) [Discovery News, 9-19-2011]
I really like this idea. After all shouldn’t suicide be an adventure? There are some of you, and you know who you are, whose brains should be shut down largely due to inactivity. Honestly I know what you’re thinking and stop it. My version of the above “Thriller Killer” ride will NOT have the ‘opt out’ button. I think the two or three of you reading this doppelganger know how I feel about suicide; JUST DO IT! There’ll be no backsliding so once strapped in you couldn’t even jump out as I plan on charging admission and jumping would create a liability issue given flying bodies.
While not yet legal in Colorado it can’t be far away so I’m creating a standby list for those of you contemplating suicide. It’ll be first come first serve and anticipate the list will grow quite long. Be assured that before I actually strap a human being in I’m going to use Dv’ant’s vicious dog first to work out any kinks in the mechanics.
Hurry sign up today!