ROTTING FLESH AND FUNGAL DELIGHT….zuki sets himself on fire

Good Morning People of Pestiferous Intent,

It’s like I’m a rotting tree….fuck, I’m stricken with every insect, fungus, virus, and infection known to man!  I’m telling you don’t bother to check medical symptom websites they’ve no fucking clue what’s causing my current breakout!  Christ I suffered with Acne until 19, and will not accept anything less than a qualified explanation!  I’m washing my new sheets and bedding, retracing my steps, recalling my diet, and generally wondering what the fuck has caused this particular episode in life’s rich pageant! 

I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to lash out like that.  That was my inside voice for hell’s sake.  You know me; I’m usually very measured and predictable.  Okay I’m mostly a creature of habit, and routine plays into much of what I do.  But I’m running out of patience and perhaps time.  The more I try and establish more or less a ‘normal life’, another trial or affliction besets me.  I’m starting to take it personally which deep down I know I shouldn’t but I’m just sayin….

According to the medical profession aging, lifestyle if one has a life, weight, drinking, smoking, stress, and sleep deprivation all play a role in our general health.  I shouldn’t be surprised with my demise given I’m engaged to all of the above.  Even social ills factors into this.  Low income, poverty, and dwelling environments are all contributing to my decomposition.  I don’t have an f-ing chance!  

Well I’m not going to sit here and just accept the inevitable!  I’m going to write a strongly worded letter and make somebody pay!  If I go down I’m bringing two or three of you with me.  I understand it’s not fair but either is the assault to my temple.  I’m going back on the Hunter-Gatherer in earnest.  I’ll begin swimming daily end of this month.  I’ll not quit drinking (my daily 10 shots of Vodka) per se’ rather will cut back and return to wine.  I’ve made an appointment to be de-loused as well as consult a certified Arborist in how best to rid myself of the fungus.  Short of setting myself on fire, I WILL BE PURGED and like a long lost friend revenant and renewed I will again be ready to join the fray.

zuki

  • Always ANONYMOUS

    Well it’s been a busy Littlewood Pleasant Valley Weekend!
    It’s way late for MOI… I felt compelled to celebrate the fact that MOI Beloved Broncos did NOT… repeating… did NOT LOSE today

  • zuki

    fez as a favor to you and the office I found a forwarding address but your not going to like it.  All correspondence must go through the Colorado State Women’s Detention Center in Colorado Springs.  Her name is Susan Chin-Becker and if my source is correct she is taking on old customers for “conjugal visits” so be discrete.

  • fez

    Sadly there is interest here in Suzies Super Turbo exotics.  By any chance do you have any contact info?

  • zuki

    I knew I could count on you guys for the usual support and understanding.  It’s clear from your acidic remarks you missed the entire point of today’s posting!  By-the-way, Suzies was closed last year for mixing Vodka in the “Super Turbo Premium Flush” and busted for serving liquor without a license and questionable delivery options.

    • Bagwan

      My suggestion was in fact a sign of support and a possible solution. I mentioned when I saw you Wednesday that I felt you face was malfunctioning. You seemed to be incapable of normal human facial expressions. I thought maybe it was just a reaction to your collagen injections.
      The other thing I noticed that I didn’t mention was that your voice was about two octaves higher than normal. You haven’t been trying to squeeze into your old size 34 Jockeys again — that could be the source of all the problems right there.

  • Bagwan

    No, I am not volunteering. This is a job for a professional. How about you give him a ride over to Suzie’s House of High Colonics. I suggest you go off the menu and order the Super Turbo Premium Flush. You realize of course that once you remove the old decaying feces, there really won’t be much left of him.

  • Always ANONYMOUS

    How good of you to volunteer!

  • Bagwan

    Maybe just start with an enema.

  • Always ANONYMOUS

    I sensed something had again gone amiss when ZUKI posted another suicide rant the other day… I shared this observation with ZUKI last night and he claims these latest symptoms of decay did not present until AFTER his suicide roller coaster ride!
    … THEREFORE… ZUKI’s subconscious knew of his poor plight before HE DID!… The power of even the MOST addlepated mind is awesomely remarkable!