FAT OR PHATT?….zuki discovers difference between fresh & frozen

Risky Business Models:

Orlando-area cosmetic surgeon Jeffrey Hartog inaugurated Liquid Gold, a storehouse for patients’ frozen liposuctioned fat, charging $900 to safekeep a coffee-cup-sized portion and $200 per year storage (in case the fat is needed later, as for smoothing facial wrinkles). A Massachusetts General Hospital physician shook his head, telling the Orlando Sentinel, “(F)rozen fat doesn’t hold up as well as fresh fat.” [Orlando Sentinel, 9-14-2011]

Fresh Fat, or was it Phatt?  Three weeks ago Phatt Ass’d Paddy waddled into Beef O’ Pukes and saw I was there.  The behemoth took about 5 minutes to maneuver an about face and waddled out.  Last Saturday she used a forklift (hand truck) to lift her considerable ass upon a stool.  In the year or so since Dewey’s closed its doors in shame I’ve enjoyed actually NOT seeing a few of the regulars she being one of them.  I was so grossed out by the ‘fresh fat’ sagging and spilling over each side of the stool I was the one that left.  It’s really a shame they don’t cut Phatt Ass in chunks and freeze it.  There’d be enough grease to power Fresno for a year!

zuki

  • zuki

    Well it’s clear the Bagged One really tied one on last night!  He gets highly agitated after pounding three bottles of cheap wine.  His perceived aphorism regarding my luminosity was ironically nothing more than a lame pleonastic blathering; the very thing he accused AA and yours truly of.  Jeez.

    • Bagwan

      Once again you have taken a compliment and turned it into an insult. Did you recognise who was in the picture? By selecting that picture I was comparing you and AA to William Jennings Bryan and Clarence Darrow. That should be enough “luminosity” for the both of you to share — now put down the Thesaurus and go back to work.

      • zuki

        Comparing AA and me your humble servant to long winded lawyers running a ‘Monkey Trial’ is hardly complimentary.  “Dim light,” not “the brightest bulb” “deprivation of perception” were all characteristics of the two famous men.  Sorry I missed the compliment. 

        By the way I’m more of the Clarence Darrow type, please tell me AA was Bryan.

        • Bagwan

          I think it is fairly clear that you are Clarence Darrow and Simply Simian is the monkey.

  • fez

    Zuki, the love and respect oozes from your pages, I can almost smell the Latex

    • Bagwan

      sniffing Latex is how Zuki went blind —- or was that masturbating. In any case he is near blind and deaf and dumb not to mention he might not be the brightest bulb GE ever produced,  but still a useful dim light.

      He and AA both share that deprivation of peception which allows them to talk incessantly without ever influencing the other.

  • zuki

    fez please thank your office mates for the sentiment because I assume they all meant well which afterall must account for something.  Anyway, Old Style is MUCH better than PBR! 

    As to Bagged n Gagged’s instigative raising of suspicions he’s conveniently left off the part where he was tied to a bumper and dragged a few miles by the Phatt one.  He finally surrendered mixing her Phatt DNA with the ‘Holy Fucker’s’ massive head wound.  Now you know how the term “Phatt Head” came to be. 

    • Bagwan

      Being tied to a bumper and dragged over a gravel road and having hot coals pounded up your ass and even having a hot poker pushed into your eye would still probably be better then french kissing Phat Ass Paddy in the parking lot of the now defunct Deweys.

      • zuki

        That’s evidently another futile attempt at bandersnatching my good name when in fact you were the one making out with Phatt Ass in the former Dewey’s parking lot!  How childish it is to project your guilt on the innocent…shame on the Holy Fucker.  I got a blowjob from ‘Babe’ in the parking lot who is not remotely close to Phatt Ass in girth and weight and damn sight better looking.

  • fez

    Thanks for the reprieve.  What was actually pledged was never received so now we can’t afford PBR.  But I’m going out to bring back our favorite, “Old Style”

  • Bagwan

    I really thought Zuki would be in a better mood this morning since he had a winning square in the Monday Night Football pool over at the South. Like some of his LSD flashbacks, Phat Ass Paddy just keeps popping up at the most inopportune times. There has to be some reason why just the sight of this woman causes these emotional outbursts. I think the answer was on the security tapes from the parking lot at Deweys which were sold to an anonymous buyer at the tax auction, never to be seen again.

    Oh well I guess we will never know, but in any case all this week drinks are on the big winner, our own Marzuki.
    Also to fez, with all his winnings Zuki obviously no longer needs the $9 you collected so buy some PBR for the office.