SPERM COUNTS COUNT….zuki seeks to catch up

Top Gun: Todd Whitehurst may be the “father” of from 42 to 60 children, based on statistical probability that recognizes his virtuosity as a sperm donor, according to a June New York Post profile (though one website, Donor Sibling Registry, claims to have documented 129 children sired by an unnamed seed demon, who is one of 92 highly productive men with 10 or more). Whitehurst, who like the others, was selected based on his sperm’s profile and speed, donated weekly for about three years in the late 1980s (for $50 a session), and has been contacted so far by nine teenagers who sent him their photos after piecing together evidence identifying him (despite sperm banks’ promises of confidentiality). Whitehurst, acknowledging the resemblances to his “offspring,” seems to find the relationships fulfilling, however limited they are. Said he, “I love Father’s Day.” [New York Post, 6-19-2011]

  • zuki

    Someone forwarded this joke to me this morning and I immediately thought of Dv’ant and to some degree the Bagwan:

    I was sitting at a traffic light yesterday next to a carload of Muslims when a big semi-trailer drove right over the top of their car!
      
    Flattened it!”Wow!” I thought, “That could’ve been me”…
      
    So ……. I went and got a Commercial Driver’s License.

  • zuki

    Yes! Excellent to hear from you Tammy.  Your insight has been sorely missed!  However, your post doesn’t mean you and the Jack-ster weren’t dry humping all June long!

  • Bagwan

    It is good to see that Tammy is back and just as kind and gracious as ever. I have been concerned ever since she and JJ disappeared at the same time that perhaps the two were on a “Sweating up the Sheets” tour.

  • Tammy

    The very thought of any of you old fuckers donating sperm to the unsuspecting humans makes me puke

  • Always ANONYMOUS

    Missed the point?… Missed the point?… A compliment from you?!… A compliment from you?!
    Your sense of humor is soooo far over my head, it isn’t even funny!
    JEEZ MOI, JEEZ MOI very much!

  • zuki

    This is an outrage!  AA left out the more salient part of his observation in that I was immediately released after DNA testing.  I was simply trying to clean up after over-filling the receptacle when arrested.  The dickhead Sgt that cuffed me didn’t give me a chance to splain!  JEEZ!

    • Bagwan

      Always An Anus or AAA to his friends has a tendency to miss the point.
      I tried to pay you a compliment, just accept it graciously — or as Zuki often says — jeez

  • Always ANONYMOUS

    ZUKI was arrested for attempting to make an unauthorized WITHDRAWAL!

    • Bagwan

      As is well known around here, I am not one for piling on Zuki. In this case however, I am going to have to give a “well done” to AA, accompanied by a polite golf clap.

      • Always ANONYMOUS

        Kindly keep your STDs (Sports-Transmitted Diseases) to yourself!

  • zuki

    I thought my initial comment was posted so forgive the order…. Nevertheless don’t knock the night deposit box untill you’ve tried it!  Jeez…it’s lined with soft lubricated plastic and rolls a continuous steam of porn on a small screen to help move things along.  By-the-way I thought I saw the Jackwagon at one of the six deposit stations but it was dark.

  • zuki

    Given my advancing years this seems like a worthwhile endeavor not to mention its potential as supplemental income!  I’m going to see if there’s an age limit or if sperm is sperm regardless of the dispenser.  Stay tuned.

  • Bagwan

    Zuki was banned from making deposits at the sperm bank after complaints filed by the mother of one of his early efforts (see image). He was later arrested at the sperm bank trying to make an unauthorized deposit in the night deposit box.