DIATRIBE MORPHS INTO CANOROUS BLISS…zuki needs your help

Good Morning Stragglers,

I realize by posting this note I’ve broken yet another promise, but for the two or three of you still checking this pecksniffian does it really matter?  Of course not.  After consulting with the Bagwan on this matter his eminence pointed out that perhaps the Diatribe could morph into a site that spawns serious social commentary on events of the day.  While we don’t get Weiner stories everyday there is enough outrageousness surrounding all of us it shouldn’t be difficult to share it.

I received emails from some of you that never posted a single comment but enjoyed the tom foolery and banter enough to check in regularly.  I thought about this over some good “Free Range Red” and a bowl of accoutrement and decided it could work.  My spare time is still committed to art and alcohol so I’m going to need some help. 

For this to work each of you must submit a news story or an event in which you participated willingly or better yet forced upon you for me to post the first response or reaction; opening it up for commentary.  It doesn’t have to be lucubrated or pros just a simple honest reaction to the story or comment.  I know many of you prefer not to get involved but for this to work you must at the very least submit fodder for discussion every now and then.

Use the submission tool on this site.  You can scan newspaper articles or cut and paste articles from the web, but would really love eye-witness accounts of the shit storms that whirl around you!

Let’s try this format and see if we can get a little traction.

TODAY marks the 25th anniversary of the late John Hughes classic “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” I hated guys like him in high school.  They’d cut school all the time seemingly with impunity.  I had one such day in my young life and remember it vividly!  I got caught.  Share your Bueller day

zuki

  • Only OHLAFF

    Please present your N2K credentials in order that your requests for proprietary planning proposals and/or past places particulars can be properly perused.
    As to a theme: “If I’m HERE… I’m NOT THERE!!!”

  • Only OHLAFF

    After Just JACKWAGON’s aborted suicide attempt earlier this week, I checked him into a regional MUFF (Mentally Unhealthy Fixing Factory) for counseling & castration.
    Being the loyal-to-a-fault Friend you ALL know MOI to be, I checked him out for a MOI-supervised therapeutic field trip to a Sunday matinee baseball game in Asheville, NC… ROX A-farm team Tourists hosting Hockory, NC, Ranger’s system Crawdads.
    We are currently in rain delay… Jim Tracey’s son Mark plays 1B but is not starting today.
    I gotta go… JJ is getting restless and is eyeing the home town mascot Ted E. Bear with THAT look.. I’ll keep y’all posted as to both game outcome & JJ’s post-“fixing” homeopathic hormonal hypodermic hysteria… GO TOURISTS!!!

    • Bagwan

      Ohlaff, I am glad to hear you made it as far as Ashville. Would it be possible for you to post a map of the rest of your journey as planned. Is there a theme we should be aware of?

  • fez

    I gave it one more look and was happy to see zuki lied and returned to this insanity.  zuki if you are anywhere near a liquor store buy a bottle of cheap vodka on me.

    • Bagwan

      fez, you are too late, by this time of day he has already stolen a bottle somewhere.

  • Bagwan

    I forgot to mention that the reason for the road trip JJ is taking with his sister is to celebrate the 45th aniversary of her filling in for his Prom date who had developed a sudden case of beriberi.

  • zuki

    Congrats to JJ for putting the gun down.  Only OHLAFF please convey my deepest sympathies for the shut down, and yes many (about 80 regulars) have moved on.  However, if they’ve followed this forum for any reasonable length of time they know my promises tend to be ‘in the moment’ lacking perspective, so I suspect they’ll check back just out of curiosity. 

    Bagged One should be congratulated as well for his committed relationship.  However, I don’t know about the rest of you, but being handcuffed to the basement drain for the last 34 years would not be considered “delightful”

  • Only OHLAFF

    Good Morrow, DIATRIBE:
    The Bagged ONE is (for once) correct about MOI… Roadie has taken MOI to Just JACKWAGON’s compound in Dixiebourough, SC. I finally feel safe as a Yankee here in the Confederacy. A merry band of Appleseed Militia provides security while the Ladies Auxillary Provides invaluable intel from their not infrequent trips to the local all you can eat BBQ Buffet.
    JJ feels simply horrible about what’s become of this beloved Forum… I’m fact he had to be talked down from the lookout tower last night… Meth, Moonshine and glue-infused Smelling Salts combined in suicidal synergy when he concluded that his frequent Forum “Flatulence” had hurried the Diatribe’s Demise… And he asked me to convey his heartfelt (if somewhat gratuitous) contrition.

  • Bagwan

    By the fucking way Mr. Zuki, since you told everyone that this was over how would it be possible that anyone would be listening. Even the Jackwagon has taken off on a one month road trip with his sister. Come to think of it, if he somehow gets word, maybe he can offer some sort of ignition or re-ignition or just his regular verbal flatulence.

  • Bagwan

    My Ferris Bueller day would be the only day I was absent my entire Junior year of high school. I took off Friday May 14 to get married. I am happy to report that I am still married to the delightful old creature.