Good Morning Feet of Lavender,
I’ve sensed “a disturbance in the universe.” I haven’t been able to pinpoint exactly what it is, but given my innate ability to judge ‘others’ combined with ongoing foot order I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities. First, I get a feeling something big even life changing big is about to happen to one of our own. Unfortunately when I have these premonitions it’s never an open and shut case, rather more of a generalized feeling of dread or joy toward a group. Secondly, given the stench of rotting feet I’ve determined Poo is likely to be the target of this disturbance. I take no pleasure in forecasting the ugly trauma heading Poo’s way, but his 20 year battle with ‘trench foot’ indicates a certain lack of hygiene and there’s no mistaking the smell. I make this announcement purely out of concern for ‘curmudgeon corner’ as lately my premonitions have been a bit off. It’s going to happen to one of our own, but there are a few others that struggle with putrid feet so I’m giving Poo a 70% chance it’s him so those of you (and you know who you are) that continue to struggle with this malady, please stay alert.
While he’s missed the last 65 committee meetings the general consensus among those that still attend, is he’s holding out for a paid ‘chair’ position. While a dubious honor to be sure, nobody has ever been ‘chair’ of the ‘Rules Committee’ and this is the first time since Griz tried to buy the position that anyone has actively sought it! Traditionally this in of itself will need a simple majority just to be debated, and lately we’ve had trouble forming a proper quorum. So the likelihood of even having a ‘Chairperson’ let alone a paid one is remote at best.
I tried using Easter weekend to channel Margo and her band of angels to better ascertain what exactly is to take place. Unfortunately I was distracted by pool playing weasels bent on hustling drinks. Margo if you’re still reading this ‘eight-ball’ and have any feelings toward although filthy, one of God’s least favorite children, please step up and let this forum know. It may save his miserable life.
For those of you that have made it this far I’m humbled by your perseverance. Predicting things is a slippery-slope in that either nothing happens or the terror and catastrophe is directed at somebody unexpected or unknown to me. This was the case when the 9.0 quake and subsequent tsunami hit northern Japan. I knew something disastrous was about to happen, but felt strongly about warning the Canadian Actors Guild instead. They were rehearsing a reenactment of the 1845 riots that resulted in burning down the Canadian Parliament building in Montreal while members were still inside! However while wrong, the reenactment did close after two performances!