Good Morning Aficionados of Lactation,
There are certain times of the year that I always look forward to and late fall is one of them. The mountain people have enjoyed an ‘Indian summer’ that continues even today. Typically though, it’s very cool in the mornings and only reaches the mid-seventies during the day. Ultimately, from this point onward we can experience anything from a foot of snow to a tornado. But for me, it’s always better for one thing; I get to cover my ‘Moobs’ (man boobs). With a jacket or thicker clothing I’m able to make them less obvious. Maybe you (and you know who you are) have been asking yourself whether your male mammaries has interfered with that woman of your dreams? I know some of you men, and perhaps a few women look in the mirror and wonder if the appearance of your sagging flesh is a turn off to women? Well, don’t kid yourself, it’s not pretty!
Studies have found most women are attracted to a man with a flat chest and a muscular build. I, Dv’ant and JJ haven’t seen our feet for years but it’s of little consequence because we approve of it. We’re all convinced we’re working our way back to fitness. Some women may have a man boob fetish and that would no doubt explain much, but these women are rare. Sorry Dv’ant.
Most women don’t want to date a man with a bigger bra size than them.
Searching for an admirer of your flabby body aside, one thing to consider is do you really want a woman so superficial that she would reject you because you’re lactating? The answer of course is yes; we do want that woman! In fact I saw a direct response commercial for a wrap-around constriction material I assume like an Ace Bandage that firmed everything from the waist up. He couldn’t breathe of course, but that’s a small price to pay for looking good in your clothes. I’ve been walking much more than I had a year ago and actually noticed them (Moobs) jiggling with each stride. This is totally unacceptable! It’s no good wearing girdles, support bras, or thick wool shirts in the summer, eventually it will be discovered thus making your deception worse than if you had flashed one at the reception!
Honestly, breast-enhancing surgery is almost a norm for American women! Right? Turns out, cases of Moobs arise most often where men are fat. I know you’re shocked, but certainly hormonal issues can at times be responsible for this misery, but let’s face it, eating a gallon of Rocky Road washed down with pizza and Diet Pepsi; never moving off the couch should be your first clue. If you have ‘Moobs’, you probably already know it, but somehow have convinced yourself you look ‘husky’ and still think you ‘got it.’ This is fucking sad, because as Doc Miller always says, “Any man that’s having a discharge from his nipples either needs to invest in a breast pump, or get a bra! ”
Weird, isn’t it, that a skinny girl with large breasts is acceptable, if not desirable, while a thin man with huge Moobs is reviled. I’m just sayin’….