Good Morning Fablers,
Pretending to be someone you’re not is certainly fun, perhaps even liberating depending on how long the lie is to be sustained. “The best liar is he/she who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.” But there are significant pitfalls in keeping fabrications alive. Outside of the ‘Diatribe’ I don’t get involved in subterfuge even if the truth is damning. Having said this though, there are some places where lying is the only way to communicate and is expected. Some people have become ‘damndable liars!’ These highly talented purveyors of deceit can be found plying their skills at ‘Curmudgeon Corner’ where lying has evolved into an art form. I think the two or three of you reading this ‘Puffery’ would agree that the deception of others, entertaining as it might be, is little more than bridge burning. As long as one keeps moving forward lying might float for awhile, but should one have to turn around and go back, the bastard is DOA.
This fact was painfully demonstrated by our former associate Elvis. For those of you not familiar with this sawed off Son of a Bitch, he was counted as one of our own in spite of his wanderings, and several of us believe he is the infamous ‘Tammy’. He’s a retired accountant for the oil and gas industry and suspect he’s done very well for himself but has a peculiar hobby of daily travel to trivia bars to beat the locals and satisfy his urge to be a gadfly. Recently, a few of us have gathered at University Sports Bar & Grill (primarily for free food) and have found a group of people that play trivia all day with seemingly no means of support. Elvis spent two hours filling us in about these ‘other’ players being whores, thieves, and heroin addicts! He seriously admonished all of us to stay clear of these demonic half-wits to insure our collective well-being. I for one took him at his word.
Given the evil ‘others’ at University play trivia as a team, we feel so very smug and superior when they’re defeated by those of us playing alone. On a whim I decided to pit myself against the marauding hordes at University and arrived mid-afternoon. Lo and behold there was Elvis playing in their midst, laughing and sharing answers as if he’d been awarded first prize in a dip-shit contest! I invited him to where I was sitting so we could slam those filthy bastards, but he kept waiving me off. Then he completely ignored me altogether! I was stupefied! How could one of our own soil himself by helping the cretins he so adamantly warned us about?! It’s a sad day at ‘Curmudgeon Corner’ my friends.
I called an emergency meeting of the ‘Rules Committee’ to discuss the dis-fellowship of our former colleague and piss-ant Elvis. When I finished unfolding the story I asked for a vote, it was unanimous. From this day forward his handle and given name are not to be uttered unless denigration is involved. For those of you that know this little sycophant we advise you to not make eye contact and shun the little prick.
We appreciate your support.