Good Morning Mother Earth,
The news from Sage College Science Department in Troy, NY is there are medicinal benefits of ingesting bacteria from common soil! The AMA is all over this! They’ve known about this for more than five (5) years and just sat on it! In a hijacked interoffice memo from Dr. Benjamin Paste to the head of research at the AMA, he references the discovery in regard to his dying brother. Evidently from a single gulping of mud taken from the bottom of ‘Hackers Point,’ Nebraska, one is able to heal from any malady! It’s a fucking miracle and these assholes were going to market this as individual cures for hundreds of illnesses and achieve wealth beyond comprehension. The AMA is conducting an investigation, but please don’t hold your breath.
“The amazing bacterium in question is Mycobacterium vaccae, which occurs naturally in soil and is often breathed in innocuously when people spend time in nature.” Think about this for just a minute! Poo has spent most of his adult life wallowing in mud and other filth I can barely imagine. He’s a living—breathing miracle. He doesn’t age and most interestingly keeps coming back from near death situations. Hummmmm.
I’m preparing a trip to Cozad, NE and make my way to ‘Hackers Point’ to get me a heaping helping of mud. They say it goes down best by diluting it in water and chug it down quickly as possible. I’m not saying it’s the fountain of youth, but simply to see for myself. I have to assume I’ll be chewing on grit for 72 hours, but certainly worth it to tighten up a bit of sagging flesh!