MIDGET CLOWNS UNLEASHED – zuki dry humps to higher ground

Good Morning Noctivagants,

There are few encounters regardless of time invested that provide the kind of release and deep satisfaction a sexual encounter provides. Obviously this can mean damn near anything in today’s circus of sexual deviancy. Midget clowns, bestiality, bi, gay, lesbian, nipple clamps, enemas, gerbils, saws all, strapon, French-tickler, choke-out, popper, anal shooter, gang-bang, tied up, 69’d, smothered, plaster cast, rosy palmed, and the ever popular mother fucker, are just a few of the ways people get off today! Libido aside, I sometimes wonder just how a man ends up putting his ‘Johnson’ in a golf course ball washer (pardon the ref) or in the suction chamber of a swimming pool cleaning system; both requiring paramedics to extricate them. Stories of women lashing themselves to a washing machine during the spin cycle are endless, not to mention the countless product lines for insertion. What has happened to the missionary position?

It appears we’ve become a society of licentious self-gratifying carnally driven pud-pounders never satisfied with what works. Like a drug addict, to reach the same levels of ‘high’ experienced with our first orgasms, now requires an ever increasing number of stimuli more diverse and bizarre than the previous ones. We humanoids have an amazing knack for improvisation. Depending on one’s predisposition, we’re seeing electric can openers with buzzing attachments, whips, stockades, and even spinning chairs (with convenient openings at the bottom) hanging from the ceiling. One of the more ‘icky’ things discovered while preparing for this assignment was Dv’ant’s enlisting the help of his precious dog. Evidently, he’s able to get off by using the strategic placement of peanut butter!

Oh the shame!

I’m not real sure how all this will end, as it seems to be spiraling out of control. But don’t be too discouraged by the hoards of people that want to hump your leg. The end is nigh at hand, and those nasty individuals lurking in the shadows, hanging around playgrounds “eyeing little girls with bad intent” will soon be destroyed! In conjunction with Pat Robertson and the late Jerry Falwell the religious right has conspired to chemically castrate men or provide iatrogenesis meds for women. These have been distributed in a massive cooperative with the religious right for the sole purpose of drying up the collective spooge excreted by those of us just looking for some harmless fun! The insidious plan is to slip the soluble pill into a drink or food that will render them forever neutered.

So the next time you’re hanging out with midget clowns trying to get a ‘little’ action, I’d take the time to find out about their religious preferences! Just a thought.

zuki

Posted in Uncategorized

MIDGET CLOWNS UNLEASHED – zuki dry humps to higher ground

Good Morning Noctivagants,

There are few encounters regardless of time invested that provide the kind of release and deep satisfaction a sexual encounter provides. Obviously this can mean damn near anything in today’s circus of sexual deviancy. Midget clowns, bestiality, bi, gay, lesbian, nipple clamps, enemas, gerbils, saws all, strapon, French-tickler, choke-out, popper, anal shooter, gang-bang, tied up, 69’d, smothered, plaster cast, rosy palmed, and the ever popular mother fucker, are just a few of the ways people get off today! Libido aside, I sometimes wonder just how a man ends up putting his ‘Johnson’ in a golf course ball washer (pardon the ref) or in the suction chamber of a swimming pool cleaning system; both requiring paramedics to extricate them. Stories of women lashing themselves to a washing machine during the spin cycle are endless, not to mention the countless product lines for insertion. What has happened to the missionary position?

It appears we’ve become a society of licentious self-gratifying carnally driven pud-pounders never satisfied with what works. Like a drug addict, to reach the same levels of ‘high’ experienced with our first orgasms, now requires an ever increasing number of stimuli more diverse and bizarre than the previous ones. We humanoids have an amazing knack for improvisation. Depending on one’s predisposition, we’re seeing electric can openers with buzzing attachments, whips, stockades, and even spinning chairs (with convenient openings at the bottom) hanging from the ceiling. One of the more ‘icky’ things discovered while preparing for this assignment was Dv’ant’s enlisting the help of his precious dog. Evidently, he’s able to get off by using the strategic placement of peanut butter!

Oh the shame!

I’m not real sure how all this will end, as it seems to be spiraling out of control. But don’t be too discouraged by the hoards of people that want to hump your leg. The end is nigh at hand, and those nasty individuals lurking in the shadows, hanging around playgrounds “eyeing little girls with bad intent” will soon be destroyed! In conjunction with Pat Robertson and the late Jerry Falwell the religious right has conspired to chemically castrate men or provide iatrogenesis meds for women. These have been distributed in a massive cooperative with the religious right for the sole purpose of drying up the collective spooge excreted by those of us just looking for some harmless fun! The insidious plan is to slip the soluble pill into a drink or food that will render them forever neutered.

So the next time you’re hanging out with midget clowns trying to get a ‘little’ action, I’d take the time to find out about their religious preferences! Just a thought.

zuki

Posted in Uncategorized